In the sunset, even with tears trailing down her cheeks, Cerice looked beautiful. Her pain at not knowing my past seemed to grow with each prism that rolled slowly from her eyes, and I felt saddened to think that she could be so hurt by me.
"Cerice..." I murmured and turned away slightly. She didn't want me to touch her now. That thought brought a tear to my eye, but I brushed it away. It wouldn't do for both of us to start crying. I turned back to her, my face composed. "We should sit in the car. It's quite cold out here." My outfit wasn't doing much to cover me from the wind, and there was as slight chill since Cerice's outburst.
"I don't want to sit in the car until I know..." I grimaced.
"Fine." I wrapped my arms round my body and hoped that the wind wouldn't pick up. "How much of my history do you want to know?" Cerice bit her lip and looked at my shivering arms.
"All of it..."
"...That could take some time."
"Right now all I want to know is about you and Amber."
"Right. Well, Amber and I met when we were in university, the same one you're going to. That was five years ago. We were friends for another two and a half years and then Amber began seeing some guy who worked in a bar. I couldn't stand being around them, because by that time I'd fallen in love with her." I watched Cerice's face darken as I said this, but continued. "She didn't know I was gay and kept coming to me for advice on the guy. She'd ask me when I thought she should sleep with him, and for tips. Eventually I told her I couldn't help her and I didn't want to talk about it anymore. The next day she told me she'd broken up with him and that I was the reason why. At first I thought she was trying to make me feel bad for hating their relationship, but then she told me it was me she really wanted."
I sighed and turned back to Cerice who was looking at the floor and digging her toe in to the soil. She looked up at my silence and I could see she had stopped crying. I continued.
"We dated for almost two years Cerice, but there was no way that I could be in a relationship with her. Amber may be pretty, but she drains people of all their emotion and then throws them away. She had complete control in our relationship. It was like being in a prison, but in a strange way wanting to be there. Because I thought I loved her, I ignored all the bad stuff. It drove my friends nuts. But when I got a job teaching, things started to change. Amber was annoyed that I wasn't spending all my time with her. We argued and argued, and finally she told me she was seeing someone else. Days later they went off together because the girl was a dressage champion and had to travel. That's where it ends."
There was a silence in which Cerice stared out at the sea. Then, she spoke.
"Are you still in love with her?"
"Weren't you listening Cerice?" I was a little exhasperated. "Sure it took a while to get over, but really she was a nightmare to live with. No one wants to be in that sort of relationship." I stepped a little towards her and she didn't step away. "Meeting you is the best thing that's happened to me for a long while. I'm free to date you because I don't have any feelings for Amber, only for you."
Cerice smiled and nodded. "I think I may have been a little jealous."
"Now you have to tell me what she said to you. She wouldn't tell me..."
"You spoke to her?"
"She appeared at my house. Said she came to visit."
"I told her to get out."
"Oh." Cerice smiled again.
"So what did she say?"