Stop pretendingMature


I pushed Sam against the wall, I was pinning him hard on the chest in this dark hallway adjacent to the room. I looked up and narrowed my eyes on him, "Stop telling everybody I am your girlfriend when I'm not," I seethed, "I don't like this game anymore, I accepted to go out on a date with you but nothing else."

"Hey, it's not my fault!" he whined, "my mother has been advertising our relationship, it has nothing to do with me."

"Then tell her to shut it before I officially break our relationship," I crossed my arms and made my way toward the room. I felt incredible guilt rising in my chest, Sam only wanted me as a girlfriend so he could hurt Sasha, or so he thought. His words still rang in my ear, telling me that Sasha was interested in me. I shook my head, I couldn't let that thought cloud my mind, it wasn't possible I was in love with her. What would my parents think? I bit my lips and balled my hands into a fist, how could I be worrying about what my parents think? They've never accepted who I was, this would surely be nothing new to them. 

The only thing I could picture was them beaming with delight, knowing their reckless daughter was in a relationship with a handsome and rich guy. Nothing would satisfied them more than that idea. That wasn't going to happen, this had gone way too far and I was hurting someone in the way.

Sophie met me on my way to the room, how I wished she would disappear. No, how I wished everybody would disappear and leave me alone, to let me be who I want to be, with no restraints and no stupid societal rules. Only one person could understand me, and that one person was the one I was trying to avoid and distance myself from.

"Cerice, my dear," Sophie's warm voice called at me as she gingerly wrapped an arm around mine, "how are you enjoying this evening?"

"It has been very... surprising," was all I could say to compliment on this horrible night.

"You make me so happy, honey," she continued, "you are the girlfriend I've always wanted for my Sammy; attractive, intelligent, responsible, and artistic! I think both of you complement very well."

I tried my best not to roll my eyes, Samuel and I had nothing in common. I funny thought crossed my mind as I wonder which of those attributes did Sam possess. None, but one person did possess all of them. That name which I had forbid myself to say: Sasha. I saw her from afar, talking to a circle of teachers, clearly enjoying herself. Or so it seemed. I had to talk to her, I had to make sure her feelings weren't compromised because of my heedless actions.

"If you'll excuse me, Sophie," I said the name with a certain disgust, gently pushing her arm from mine, "I have to talk with my art teacher, there is a project due on monday and I'm unsure about some things."

"Of course!" Sophie chuckled, "I knew you were the responsible type. I hope to see you on our home during the weekend?"

"I don't think so," I replied, "I will be too engrossed with my art and it wouldn't be fair for any of us." Sophie nodded and let me go after she kissed my cheek.

On my way toward the deck, I saw Sasha going out, I followed her. After a greeting I asked her why she was outside. She replied that she needed some air, but she didn't look okay.

"Are you ok?" I asked and she turned away from me.

"Cerice please. Go back inside to your boyfriend and enjoy the party." she told me with a sad tone.

Her words pierced my heart and suddenly I felt I was on the verge of losing everything that really mattered to me. A little bit of angst and anger boiled inside me, how could Sasha think Sam was my boyfriend, "I thought she knew me better."

"Cerice, I thought I knew you, but now I am unsure," Sasha was now facing me with a concern look in her face. "You seem so different from the first day I met you, and you were happy with whom you were and nothing seem to changed you, but..."

What was she talking about? I just realized I had voiced that last piece of my mind. She was facing me and the only thing I could do was remain silent and wished I could vanish. "I have not changed," I said with vehemence, shaking my head, "I still found sunsets beautiful and I still think Sam is an idiot."

A weird smile settled on her lips and lighted her face in a very attractive manner, she then laughed at my remark about Sam. The melodious laughter reached my ears and something warm touched my heart, I was ready to jump into uncertainty. "Then why are you his girlfriend?"

"I am not," I said taking a bold step to stand right next to her, I breathed in and took her hand in mine. "He set me up, he said you might lose your job if I didn't go out on a date with him. I accepted but things went haywire after that. I am truly sorry, I just don't want you to lose your job, I won't be able to see you again..." My face burned and my heart fluttered faster.

Her lips parted a little bit in confusion, "so, you aren't going out with him?"

"No," I said, allowing her fingers to entwined with mine, "I'll never date him again, it's his mother who pains me so much." Sasha laughed again and returned me a warm glance. Everything was said in that silence.

"So, what now?" she asked.

"I think I want to experience something new and real." I replied. I had stopped pretending not to have feelings for her.

The End

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