As Savana twirled in the green dress and laughed up at me I found it incredibly difficult to control my emotions. I felt a warmth rising in me that I hadn't felt since....but no, she was dead now, and father too. I shrugged the thought away and turned my back to Savana when she asked if I thought she was a woman.
"Maybe..." I grinned over my shoulder at her as I walked off down the riverbank.
"What do you mean maybe?" she ran after me and I veered around a corner just out of her grip.
"Hey come back here!" she laughed and I ran and hid again, watching her through the thicket as she tried to figure out where I had gone.
She slowly moved towards my hiding place and so I stealthily moved to a new one and then proceeded to creep up behind her. I grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up into the air. "Gotcha!" I cackled and she shrieked.
"Kevin put me down! Put me down now!" I gently put her down on the ground and she turned and swatted at my arm. "Don't do things like that!" she exclaimed. "You scared me."
I pouted and sat on the ground looking up at her. She was a very dainty, beautiful woman, and I was a giant compared to her tiny frame. She glared down at me with her hands on her hips but eventually her gaze softened and she began to smile. "You look like a little child." she said, crouching down and ruffling my hair.
I reached up and put my hand over hers, holding it against my face. "You have such small hands." I whispered as I gazed into her eyes. "You're just.....really big." she murmured, not breaking from my gaze. I had been playing with her hair and I raised my hand to her face and smiled softly at her as I ran my thumb across her cheekbone. "It means I can protect the things I care about."
My head flooded with memories at that moment and I realised what I was doing. "I can't..." I choked and I let go of her suddenly and stood up. It was too soon, I couldn't do this, I didn't want Savana to get hurt. Not like her....
"Kevin? What's the matter?" Savana stood in front of me and I could feel my entire soul reaching out for her, being selfish, reaching for what I wanted and not caring about anything else in the long run.
"I'm supposed to be a leader." I mumbled as I stared at the ground. "I'm supposed to do what's right and make sacrifices. Leaders can't afford to be selfish. Leaders don't let the one's they care about get hurt."
She tilted her head sideways and looked up at me. "It's ok to be selfish sometimes." she looked sad and my heart ached for her. "Is it though? Is it really ok?" I searched her eyes and she stared straight into mine. "Yes. I believe it is." she sounded so sure of herself, so certain, and yet something about the way she looked made me wonder if she was as confident about her answer as she sounded.
"Is it okay for me to be selfish now?" I was desperate now, clutching at straws, clutching at any part of the shore that I could, but my emotions were drowning out my mind and the dam in my head was about to burst.
"Of course it is."
The dam burst and I felt my body fill up with a feeling I had never felt before as I threw caution to the wind and stood up to my full height. Savana started in surprise and looked up at me with those captivating eyes.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my arms. "Then I'm being selfish. And you are very much a woman!" I whispered before I kissed her with the fire that was burning within me.
I kissed her deeply, one arm around her waist, pulling her close to me, the other tangled in her dark locks. She tasted like sweet honey and I felt her lose her balance slightly so she would have fallen over if I had not been holding her up.
And even still, I didn't stop the kiss.