Alone. Jester thumped the balcony railing with his fist angrily. It was weak, most of his movements were weak. He was still recovering from the blood-loss. He couldn’t do anything to help anyone. He couldn’t protect Ana; he couldn’t even protect himself.
Then the name: “Lukah” Ana’d whispered, passed out in the hallway, Jester had stumbled out of bed to see if she was hurt. She’d sounded so heartbroken, so hurt, so alone. But Jester wasn’t who she’d called for. “Lukah.” The name was like an arrow to Jester’s heart. It had nearly stopped, in too much pain to keep going, when he’d heard Ana whisper it.
“No.” He whispered now. “No, no, NO!” Maybe Saphros was right; he had figured out where this boy was, and was going to get him. Then Ana would see him and remember him and love him and maybe it wasn’t just a normal, human, boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Maybe they’d truly loved each other.
Betrayed. Maybe this was how Adder had felt, when he’d discovered the truth about Calla and Demrin, and Everette. Jester didn’t know it was even possible to feel pain like this. It was worse then being stabbed in the heart, bleeding to death, or feeling his life draining away. This pain wouldn’t stop, this pain had no injury. There was no blood, no wound. There would be no respite, no recovery from this pain. The pain of finding out that your true love isn’t really yours at all, but someone else’s. The pain of finding out that you are alone.
Now the vampire was back, and he remembered nothing, he no longer hurt. If this Lukah came back and Ana loved him, that’s what Jester would do. He would ask Demrin to take away his memories of her, then Jester would go back to Scott, because he’d have no business being here anymore. He’d go back to the dark, and wait for his next mission. Back to being treated like an animal, he would go back to thinking like one. Animals don’t fall in love.