Dear Homework

To my (suprememly evil) Homework.

I really must complement you on your skill at extracting the most acute amount of pain from your victims. You exploit our every weakness, sending in your choking tendrils through the tiny chinks in the armour of our knowledge and turing our supposedly well-revised thoughts to a mess of porridge-like chaos.

You seem to take great joy in making sure you have at least one question you know we cannot answer, and at least five more we are sure we know but cannot for the life of us remember what it was exactly. You beat our exhausted brains into submission and then stab us repeatedly to ensure we really are down for the count. Then you begin stripping apart what's left of our sanity for your own delight, listening with glee to our distressed groans and whimpers as you destroy our confidence and hopes for the future. A zero on our homework spells death, and you know it. So you do your utmost to insure we get them.

But even you cannot crush us.

Despite your terrible torturous methods, your painful-beyond-belief trick questions and malicious indecisiveness, we will never surrender. The students of today are built of stronger stuff than you are used to, and we will not succumb to your tyranny.

Field Marshall Google, General Encyclopedia and Commodore Paper-shredder are on our side. They aid us in our ever-ongoing battle against you, and with them to help us we will never surrender!

Prepare to topple, tyrant.

Yours vengefully

The GCSE class of 2009

The End

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