I know you are probably too dumb to understand the acronym, so let me make it easy for you. CB stands for cheating bastard. There are oh so many things I could say to you. Most would probably sound like a Taylor Swift song. But as I am more mature than you, I will refrain.
The point of this letter is to ask for my CDs back. The CDs that I let you borrow a year ago that you never listened to. I already have all the rest of my stuff, so why bother keeping them? It's stupid of you to hold them hostage, especially if you won't ever use them. Or do you? I wonder if you secretly liked them and are keeping them just so you have a reason to keep talking to me.
Either way, I'm getting the CDs back. And that's the short and short of it. We had a great time together, but I'm taking my life back. Hope you and your new girlfriend have fun together. I've met a football player who likes to read. A passion you and I never shared.
Just thought you should know, the villian in my story reminds me of you.
Hope you fall off a bridge and lose your legs,
the love of your life