Dear Amy- Rain,
I saw your mother today huddling in a bus shelter and you instantly came to mind. I almost cried then and there. But I sucked it back and waited all day for some sort of release. I wanted to be an EC educator so I would make a difference in young children's lives. But I never really realized how fruitless it could be...
I still remember when you were happy. When your mom and dad were still together. Your father worked at the gym I went too. We would exchange friendly smiles and chats every once in awhile. I wasn't as friendly with your mom...even before everything turned upside down.
When your Dad found out he wasn't your dad, I'm afraid to say he was the only one who didn't know. Ofcourse you didn,t know you were just a child. You shouldn't have ever known. Ignorance is bliss afterall. But your mother got bored of your father and wanted something, someone new and called up your sperm donor.
Your sperm donor tried the best he could to take care of you but I think in the end he got overwelmed by all of that responsibilty. That doesn't excuse his behavior either. My jaw dropped when I found out he had won custody of you and just as quickly signed away his rights. Perhaps what he did to you was worse... That yoyo routine can make anyone go crazy.
I remember how you use to shout and swear and then suddenly bury your head in my shoulder and ask if I loved you. Ofcourse I did. I still do. I wish I could tell you that now. I know they aren't telling you that enough. Remember that flower pin I gave you? I'm sort of stealing this off a facebook bumper but I think it applies here, I will love you until it dies. If it breaks I've got another flower pin. It's not as nice but it,s purple. You always liked purple.
Remember Amy always that you are beautiful talented and smart . You are an important person in this world. You have the possibility to do anything you want to do. Hopefully your teachers will make up for what your parents failed to do.
I'll always be afraid about hearing through the grape vine that something happened to you..that you did something to your self. Please be strong. Not for me or anyone else. Please Amy do what I could never do: let it go. Don,t let your history tell you who you are or what you are capable of.