Dear Cheeto's Marketing Department,

I never understood what tigers had to do with gas or cereal.  Nor cheetahs with cheese filled snacks.  Except for the "ch".  I guess a "chiraffe" would have been too much for people to get their leg over.  Maybe a chihuaha? 

But that's OK.

It's just this new "Chester" Cheetah, this new, ultra-masculine "tiger" of a "cheetah", that has the lady's swooning is a little off putting.  Seems Chester Molestorish.  Is this to mean putting a cheeeto in your mouth, well, what, are they salty?  Do women want to fellate Chester?  Are they going back to his room for a nightcap?   A romp in the hay with the spokescheetah from Cheeto's? 

He started out a furry mascot.  Now he's a testosterone laden, growlin hunk of man cheetah.  It just seems such a big jump.  Wasn't Chester originally to placate the kids?  The cartoon character on the snack bag so the kids say "Gimme some Chesta"! 

The problem is, the kids probably do still love him.  Seems wierd.  Just wierd.


A loyal fan.

The End

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