I received your miracle healing water on the 13th and promptly drank it. I read each of the 14 enclosed prayer cards and juiciously dispatched the required checks in turn!
I know you're a busy man with lots of people to heal. But I have a few questions. My gastritis has not yet dissipated! Should I have sprinkled the water on my tummy rather than drinking it? If I have used the water wrong, please send me another order post haste! I have no problem paying again if this was due to my misuse of your miracle product. And believe the very thought of having wasted a miracle is gnawing at me. You betcha!
If that's the case, please include instructions for it's use.
Perhaps, you haven't had the time to pray for me, as I've noted my checks have not yet been cashed. I'm sorry if I seem urgent, please consider that my time spent in the bathroom is not a pleasant one!