I'm so sorry love. So sorry for all this pain I'm causing you. Everything and you say it's not my fault but I know it is. This distance is killing the both of us and I feel it every day, every second even...
This weekend was hell for me too. My mother was winding me up the entire time and that was riding my anxieties. Now she suggests I ask my aunt for advice on my exposing of myself and I really hate all the hoops she's setting up for me. It was worse with being completely cut off from you too. I know your pain. I didn't even enjoy shopping for your birthday present because I missed you so bad. I hope you don't hate me. I tried for over an hour to disassemble my pencil sharpener then a disposable razor, both epically failing on me. Even my mother noticed my melancholy which wasn't present early on friday... I also had perfect on repeat for a long time, I believe it still is. I cried over this weekend. That is how much I missed you.
The bright side is only 5 more days right? 5 more days to endure. I can do that and I know you can too.
All my love (no matter what),