Dear Best Friend Thanks, but you're Still a DickMature

 Hey Man, Dude, The Poss, You Fuck. Little shinde kudosai.

It's me. Kspice, god knows I hated that when you and gang came up with that. There is a lot to say and not say here but lets get it started.  When I first met you I thought we would be unlikely friends as in the stupid college drinking game you made a rule that every time I spoke I would have to drink knowing full well that I fucked up and only had myself a raw bottle 58 percent whiskey and no mix.  I still have issues with rye. thanks.  However as that night went on and the rule was dropped and I was staggering we learned we had a lot in common. Both being born in September only two days apart same year! coming from small towns a passion for video games, particularity halo, being first year college students. Finally being allowed to break the chains of all the bullshit carried in from elementary school through high school. We were in reinventing ourselves. No parents laying down the rules, no people in your past with preformed images of who you are. Blank slates in the height of our youth. Do you remember when J was too much of pussy to ask the girl he had pining for the last few months and we made a pact to punch him in the face if he didn't ask her out. Then I taught you how to throw a punch. Like a really good punch. I'm pretty sure J is still feeling that one.  The three of us became inseparable for the first year of college. You were at our dorm every night  afterwards jamming to punk, metal, dubstep, rock, classic rock, playing minecraft, and Halo 4. Even when you started dating S you still spent more time with us. 

I still get nostalgic of all the times we would go on drunk walks, and just get stupid philosophical or have deep "bro talks" about our lives. I didn't realize at the time how sad you had been or how sad I was.  I'm sorry for asking for suggestions on how to ask  R out for so long and never manning up to ask her out or never taking your advice. But thank you for being there for me when she stood me up on valentines day. and thank you for vividly remembering our last night of being first years because I would never have understood as to why I woke up with a sharpie beard, a pizza box, someones stilettos shoes, a traffic cone and the worst hangover ever. Our UCH days. 

It was really sick when we became roomates and lived in our own apartment for our second year of school. Having pulled pork nights, playing stupid practical jokes on each other. Playing slender and that shitty tube tv that made everything orange. Hell despite being turned into crab men  from serious sun burns when we did the floatapoolaza down the river with the stupid frat. I'm still laughing when I rented a five foot by  three foot boat for the both of us. You being a 6 + guy of reasonable size and me being 5 foot 7 with barrel wide shoulders. All because I didn't think about it. That was a lot of fun though. Even the part where we could hardly move in the apartment trying to rub aloe vera on our burns. (not buns also its not as wierd as your imagining it. I promise.)  Its weird; second year wasn't very memorable to me except I think that's when I found out I was struggling with pre-diabetes, and depression. and still being single and wondering if maybe there is something wrong with me as person that made me a joke and undesirable as a human. You put up with some pretty big bullshit when I would handle all of that by drinking copiously. I'm sorry though it took so long it did to get rid of that as a coping mechanism and embarrassing that was ever a coping mechanism.  I'm sorry that the summer of that year was lonely for you as I went to work in my hometown. but man it was ever to hilarious when C and E turned the apartment upside down when I came to visit. Also thanks again for putting up with my BS when I decided that drinking four jugs of beer to myself down at kareoke night. I thought E was helping me with those. The mess that I had made when I got back to the apartment was totally not worth it. 

Ha ha third year. The clusterfuck that it was it was good, and bad. I feel badly for drunkenly advising you to break up with S. Even though it was the best thing for the two of you well maybe just for you.  I've stopped giving out dating advice though since then.I don't think its right for the King of Bachelors to give out any dating advice. That being said you cut me really bad when you started dating K. I know partially the reason I never dated her was because of yet one of my drunken bouts of depression but still I was stupid crazy about her. Hearing the two of you together in your room hurt more internally than anything I had ever experienced. Even when I told you it was alright. It wasn't and you know it. Sorry for my part in hardly being civilized to each other for five months. That being said we still moved in with J when we finally got him to break up with you know who.  But we were real dicks to you. That being said we had some great times and when our friendship started to repair things got better. You know depsite spraining my ankle on valentines day I still think thats when of the best drinking stories I have of myself. Seriously though I don't understand why you guys weren't skipping with me down the street back then. Then J pulled the same shit you did with E. But I handled it better because you and A took care of me, and stood up me.  I'm sorry for the amount of pot we smoked. I knew you hated it, and all the parties we threw. I regret it to because my grades dropped, so did yours, and J's. Now we're all Uni drop outs. and worse none of us live in the same town anymore. Hell we don't talk to J anymore, and I doubt we'll ever be friends after he #wrekt up the place tossing our shit wherever and blaming us for his problems.  I do miss it though when it was the three of us being invincible taking on the world with nothing to fear, bringing people together for the gamers club. Organizing hiking adventures, potlucks. Some of the greatest times I can recount in my life. I've let go of the drama of it all. I'm sorry I moved back to my hometown and started up in the electrical trade, and we hardly speak or game together anymore. But you have K now and don't fuck that up. Stop working at Mac's and get back in school for trades, or whatever. also get you drivers license fool. Canada is a place where having a drivers license is important and crucial to doing pretty much anything. Because otherwise she will find someone else who is doing more with their life, and she is too awesome to let go.  See ya soon. 

Your buddy 



Thanks for being the best friend ever, and being able to pick up wherever we left off no matter how much time has passed. I hope we keep that for as long as we are alive. 


The End

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