To my brothers who took their lives.Mature

Dear Tony,

The politically correct world has told me that suicidal thoughts are a mental illness, and like any other illness, it is not the persons fault. 

Well, you and the others (you know who you are) who decided they couldn't handle life back home after the war can all go to hell. 

Right now, some socially conscious person is regurgitating in their mouth at the words I'm writing, but guess what. I will never forgive you bastards for what you did to the people you left behind.

I was just a friend, we went through training together, relied on each other and ultimately made sure we walked home alive and with all our parts still attached, but in the end I was simply a man you met one day. It's your kids, your mothers and fathers that are carrying the luggage you thought was too heavy for you. 

You were the tough guys. You were the guys who looked death in the eye and returned fire instead of running away. You were supposed to carry your burden, far and wide. 

Instead; you got home, your wives didn't recognize you anymore and they were the weak ones. Yeah, they left you, yeah you lost a lot; but you sure as hell didn't lose everything.

For Christ sake Tony I was at your damn house. I offered you everything. I asked you if you were okay; and the last words you ever told me were a balled face lie. "I'm fine." My ass you were fine. That belt you hung yourself with was fine. You my friend were not.

You, and the others; you all found a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

A problem that never went away. That's what you didn't realize. Sure, I can understand that you were hurting; I can appreciate it, heck I was hurting too, but you took all that pain, all that suffering and you dropped it when your hands went limp. You dropped it on the basement floor and guess who had to pick it up?

I did, I had to pick that shit up, and your parents did, and your kids; your KIDS Tony. God Damnit man ... your kids. 

If only you could have seen the devastation you left behind; you would have chosen to carry it; I know. You would have bucked up, you would have soldiered on like we always did; and you would have shut the hell up and carried it. 

You were supposed to be the tough guy, Tony. 

What the fuck happened?

The End

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