You're the ReasonMature

It started off as minutes. Then hours. Then days. Then weeks. Then months. Then-- you never went away. You were the one thing that stuck with me through everything I did and said. You didn't leave me when things were going right. You didn't leave me when things were going wrong. You're the reason for so many of my biggest life events. Too bad I hate you. I've always hated you.

Dear Depression,

You're the reason my life is an endless span of falling. You came so young that I had no foundation to stand on; I will forever be falling because I don't know what else there is. There is no rock bottom that I will eventually reach in order for me to use as the foundation in which I build myself. I can't say I'm on edge, there is no edge. Just a whirlwind of confusion.

Dear Depression,

You're the reason I'm drowning. Remember all those times as a kid when my brothers would hold me until water just a bit too long. We thought they hated us and wanted us dead. It wasn't them who drowned me, it was you. Not in the sea of ink that designed many of the poems you've inspired, but in sadness. A kind of sadness that eats away at my heart and leaves me to fill the space with the toxic gas that is you.

Dear Depression,

I try to say that you're useful. That I fear being too happy because happiness gets me hurt. Happiness sets me up to fall at even faster speeds. Happiness is great. You're the reason I don't get to be happy. You're the reason I fear it. Those thoughts are not my own.

Dear Depression,

I take medication to get rid of you and I know you hate that, but if you would just leave me alone for a few months out of the year, then I'd be okay. Too bad you won't. Mom says I'll always have you by my side. That you'll always be whispering idiosyncratic phrases over my shoulder that no one seems to understand but me. You're the reason no one understands me.

Dear Depression,

I'd like to trade you in for a new closest friend.

The End

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