To my best friend,
Where to start? I could feed you cliched lines about the way just hearing your name makes me indescribibly happy. I could tell you how much it hurts to lie, say I'm happy for you to be with her and stay as your best friend and nothing more. I could try and describe to you how I treasure the moments we have. The hours talking and hours more sitting together in comfortable silence. Just being together is enough conversation sometimes. Those silent moments I wish I could tell you something of this... but fear freezes my tounge every time. Those dreams that wake me screaming are the ones that you leave me alone. They echo in my mind and catch the words in my throat. So I hope you see this. I hope you know who you are when you read this. Because I could never say this out loud.
I try holding on, waiting for that sign that must be there.. the one that tells me you see. You understand finally, no words are needed. But you see only her now. So I try to give you the words for how I feel. But they turn to dust in your mind, blown away by this new love of yours. The one that ruined my family, the one that has left you trying to peice together shattered remains of your life. That nearly tore us apart.
Without you, its as though nothing truly exsists and I'm falling. With you, its like we are invincible. Nothing can hurt us when we are together. We are like two halves of a whole and I wish you would see that. I look at you and see a little of a mirrored reflection. You came into my life and scattered my mind, and dragged me out of the darkness. Now I stand on the brink again, terrified I'll have to let you go.
True love is impossible to find, and harder to give up.
I guess, what I am trying to say is that I love you.
I love you.