New YearMature

The last year was probably the most hellish and heartbreaking year of my life so far. But on the other hand, it made the moments of happiness all the brighter and all the more memorable for that.

At the beginning of the year, I was suffering from depression and self harm. I was isolated, stressed and deeply unhappy. At the end of the year, I have almost entirely shaken off the depression, am now officially free from self harm and I have the most brilliant examples of friends anyone could ever wish for. This year I have had the pleasure to meet some truly inspiring people and I have been blessed with some truly unforgettable experiences. I have suffered, yes. At times, I believed I was not going to be sat here, at the start of a new year. But I am proud to say that I am here and I am happy to be so.

A swift recap of the year: French antics, falling in love, death, illness, success, change, triumph, rediscovery, reconnecting, failure, rebirth, hope, heartbreak, dreams, strength, writing, stories, music, smiles, memories. In my mind's eye, at midnight, I saw the people who really made this year special for me. These people will never be forgotten. They held my hand during the dark times and were there to celebrate the good times with me. And I hope, in some way, I was able to offer them the same.

So I move on to a new year and I leave behind a darkness that has plagued me and bring forward a new-found sense of hope and faith. I look forward to exams, leaving school, starting uni, starting my new life and hopefully finding that falling in love wasn't the mistake that at times I thought it would be. I know that I start this year with a small group of people I never want to leave and I hope I will be able to find a home with the new people I will encounter in the same way I have found a home with the people I am lucky enough to call friends now. I look forward to new experiences and challenges. I brace myself for leaving the safety of childhood behind-alongside the school in which I finally managed to find myself in. I look forward to the world opening up at my feet. I brace myself for the inevitable heartbreak which makes each smile, no matter how small, all the more precious.

Here's to 2010. It wasn't easy but it sure taught me a lot. Here's to 2011. The year where everything will finally become what it what meant to be.

Happy New Year to everyone. May it bring you every happiness and true peace.

~Semper Fidelis~


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