To my werewolf
You know who you are and I don't know if you'll see this or not, but its just some things I wish I had the balls to say to your face if I'm honest. Now I don't know where to start...
Firstly, I owe you my life. Hands down, you saved me from the downwards spiral that I got caught in. I'll never forget the nights you spent making sure I was okay, making sure I would still be there in the morning. Even now, you remain the only person to make me laugh while my heart was breaking. And for the simple fact you never fail to make me smile, I will always be in your debt.
Its taken me a while, but especially recently, I've come to realise just how lucky I am to have you. Despite what you might think of any situation, you always try to look out for me. No one else has ever done that for me, ever. You've seen me at my very worst and still think that I'm a decent person. I don't know if that makes you a nutter or a saint, either way, I honestly can't imagine life without you. Of all the people in my life, you are the only person I would say I'd trust with anything, 100% and know you won't let me down. You are the only person who seems to completely understand who I am and what I'm about and thats something so incredibly rare, I still need to pinch myself to remind me its true.
Your trust, your love and your friendship is something I treasure more than anything else. If I ended up broke, with no home, starving and in the worst possible situation, I'd still feel like the richest person in the Universe so long as I had you there. You mean the absolute world to me. Losing some people might be almost unbearably painful, but losing you would literally kill me. Even though, strictly speaking, we haven't known each other long, in that short time, you've become an essential part of my life. I literally feel like I can't function without you some days.
And the thing is, you treat me like gold despite what I dump on you sometimes. You treat me so much better than I deserve at the best of times. Where a lot of people will believe when I say I'm fine, you don't when you can see I'm not. And you always see right through me. Even if I sometimes hold it back from you, you always see when things aren't good. You read me like a book. And you always know the right thing to say, but you still aren't afraid to be honest with me. Never stop being honest with me. Never be afraid to say something that might be hard for me to hear. Hearing it from you would be easier than finding out the hard way. Yes, I am pig-headed and stubborn and don't listen a lot of the time. But I never ignore what you say, even if it seems like it. Apart from anything else, you're impossible to ignore.
And one day, I know that the world will see that. They will see what a truly incredible person you are. Some people see a little, but I'm not sure they understand it just yet. I'm not claiming I do, just saying that one day, it won't just be me that says you deserve greatness. You weren't meant for an anonymous life. You're destined for great things and I feel proud and honoured that I can call you my best friend. I hope that I can for a very long time to come.
Honestly, I don't know what you would make of this.. For some reason, I can't say it to your face, though most of it you already know. Yes, I know that makes me an idiot and a coward-but I never claimed to be anything much really. But you saw something in me that very few other people did. And you were the only person willing to keep fighting for it time and time again. The fights are over now, I promise. I won't put you through that again. You deserve better and I will be better.
All I can say is that no matter what you have to say, no matter what you have done, no matter what you need, I will be there for you as best I can be. Even if all I can do is give you a hug, I will be there right by your side. I believe in you. I have faith in you and I know you will achieve your dreams. I can believe in you enough for the two of us. I might not be strong for myself, but I'll be stronger than diamond for you.
Really, all of that can be summed up in one promise. Semper fidelis. You taught me that and its something that will leave its mark for eternity on me.
All my love, now and always,
Your big sister x