I tapped my finger on my knees impatiently. I'd prepared myself for a lot, half expecting to see something in my face like them making out. Instead all he did was loop his arm round her waist. And it hurt even worse. How did that even make sense?! I guess kissing was something he'd do with any girl, but the half hug thing...that looked more concrete, like something people in a solid relationship did. Something I never expected to see Jaimie do. Eventually Rody finished his speech about the tour. I couldn't help grinning a little to myself when he spoke angrily about the other band. I quickly covered it up, afraid he might actually ask the reason why.
I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder quickly. I thought I could hear harsh muttering behind me but kept walking. I needed to get away from them as fast as possible. I knew Rollar was being sincere when she'd apologised. She was too sober to lie convincingly. Had Jamie done that? Helped her cut the drink? I guess that was the only plus, we were both dealing with our vices. And Jamie? I guess I'd have to wait up. If I got a call from Rollar I knew I'd answer it. Jamie was on auto-block, and there was no way I'd waste minutes listening to whatever voice message he left.
“Kyle, wait.” My whole body froze at Jamie mentioning my name. I felt the arms gripping my bag handle tensing like crazy. Part of me wanting to just keep walking and act like I hadn't heard him. But I'd paused a few seconds too long to have a hope of getting away with it. I turned slowly, keeping my eyes distant as we made eye contact. I wondered if he and Rollar had been doing more than hugging moments before, there was a slight blush to his cheeks I'd never seen before.
“What?” I asked. I regretted the coldness I'd put into the word instantly, knowing I'd have flinched if someone spoke to me with that tone. Jamie hesitated, struggling for words.
“Look,” he began, waving his hands uselessly before him in an attempt to look like he knew what he was saying. It wasn't working.
“I want to apologise,” He continued, chewing his lower lip a little. I closed my eyes to sigh a him when he spoke again, “For the way I treated you.” I opened my eyes again and felt a frown shape my lips.
“Rollar put you up to this?” I asked and Jamie shoved his hands deep into his jeans, shifting uncomfortably.
“No,” he said adamantly before quickly caving, “Well, yes, okay, she did, but I don't want things like this between us.” He kept speaking, his voice rushed and desperate. “And I knnow that I owe you an apology anyway, so...I'm sorry.” He dropped his shoulder with the last part and I tried to ignore everything in my head. Part of me wanting to shout at him, make him feel guilty as hell. Another part wanted to forgive him, let things go to the way they were. But I knew if I gave in that easily I'd end up running back to drugs. I, at least, had some pride left.
“Okay,” I finally said. Because I knew no answer would be cruel. I turned and left quickly. I knew from the look in his eyes that he didn't believe for one moment I forgave him, and he was right. Just sorry was never going to be enough.
“You look deep in thought,” Ben said as I took the seat opposite him in the booth. He'd sent me a text to meet in a small café on the outskirts of London. It wasn't very well-known and the booths gave us some privacy.
“Jaimie apologised to me,” I muttered, thanking the waitress as she handed me a cup of strong, black coffee. It was the only substitute I really had for the drugs at the moment. Ben's eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Wow. Well, more than most get,” He said, taking a sip from his drink. Probably a tea, he didn't like strong tastes.
“Who's the most?” I asked, because I knew it would bug to no end if he didn't tell him connection to Jamie. Ben frowned, considering before shrugging with a resigned sigh.
“My younger sister. She didn't know anything about him outside his name and reputation. But she was certain she could be the one to change his ways, make him faithful. It lasted one month and one week. She's struggled to trust anyone else since.” Ben's voice stayed neutral as he spoke, but I could tell by the teasing of his jaw that the retelling affected him. I starred at my drink, feeling a little pathetic. I'd gotten so upset by everything, but one night was easy. Especially when compared to how I'd feel if I'd spent a week, let alone a month with Jaimie to myself.
“Maybe you joining the tour is a bad idea..” I trailed. There was a pretty good chance he'd actually see Jaimie if he did. Ben laughed and shook his head.
“Don't worry, I can handle seeing the guy. Maybe even talking to him,” Ben reassured me. I frowned, hoping he was right.
“Anyway, enough talking about him. Want to head to mine? Or yours?” Ben added the last part with heat sparkling in his eyes. I fought my blush and nodded mutely. I was really going to have to overcome this shy thing.