All sorts of things ran through my mind as I ran out of that bathroom.
I didn't want to be confronted by Kyle and Lana so I passed through the employees only door, coming out in an alley.
Rollar had... She'd said she loved me. She couldn't though, she just couldn't. It scared me, the idea that someone else had fallen for me and all I could do was hurt them. I leant against the wall of the alley for God knows how long.
After a while, I came out and stopped a taxi.
"Where to?" asked the driver.
I thought for a moment. I couldn't go back to the house. I couldn't bear to see Rollar, not after I ran out on her. I didn't want to go to Carter's; I'd just be reminded of when we'd been together. I certainly couldn't go to my parents', not with something like this.
"A hotel. Any hotel," I murmured.
"Price range?" he asked.
I shrugged. "Expensive," I mumbled. If I was running away, I was doing it in luxury.
He nodded once and drove away. Pretty soon, he had to stop because of the London traffic. I glimpsed Rollar looking around the street and sank low in the seat. Kyle and Lana were with her and they both looked worried. I sighed, sinking lower until I was practically horizontal in the seat.
The driver smiled sadly at me, probably realising it was something to do with a girl.
"You okay?" he asked.
I shook my head. I definitely was not okay. Rollar... loved me. I couldn't get my head around it. She knew I didn't do relationships, she knew I wasn't exactly stable and she knew my darkest secret. Would she tell Kyle about the feelings she'd revealed to me? Probably not.
After a silent drive, the driver stopped. I passed him a couple notes and muttered something about keeping the change. I got out and walked into the hotel. With the marble flooring, the tall stone columns and the incredibly high ceiling, it was exactly what I was looking for. I walked up to the reception desk.
"How can I help you, sir?" asked the young girl with a polite smile.
"Just a room please."
"For how long?" she asked, turning to her computer.
"I don't know."
"Okay, do you want to pay per night?"
I nodded and she smiled again, typing something in to the computer. She told me a number, probably the cost. I didn't listen, just taking my card out. She took it from me and slid it into the card machine. She handed it to me and I typed my PIN in.
She handed me my card and a room key. I forced a smile and turned to the lift. As I was waiting, I glanced over at her. She was pretty enough, with brown hair and blue eyes. She looked up and saw me watching her. She blushed and looked down, flicking her eyes up quickly.
I couldn't help my genuine smile. I needed to distract myself from thoughts of Rollar.