Derek took one step back, not knowing what to do or say. He totally hadn’t expected what he was now seeing. But somehow, he knew what to do.
“Put the knife away” – surprised by his own words, he stepped more into the room.
“Or what?” – she snapped at him, trying to get bits of the salad from the bed, but Derek could see her eyes looking for a knife. Hers and his eyes both spotted where it was lying. Without a warning, they both dived for it and they both ended up holding it.
“Give. It. NOW” – the girl demanded trying to hit him, but he moved quickly, unfortunately, letting the knife go. With a triumph on her face, the girl slowly put the knife on her pulsing blood vein.
“WAIT!” – Derek shouted, holding a hand in front of him.
“Wait? For what? Carrying on with this hell I live in? No thanks” – with those words she made first cut, breathing out slowly. Derek didn’t think any longer. He literally jumped at her, trying to make her stop. He poked her on her side, which made her fist loosen a little. Using that for his advantage, quickly he snapped the knife away from her. But then, quickly he regretted moving a lot. The room started to move as he took unsecure two steps back before collapsing on the floor. The girl looked at him unsure, but then she’d forgotten about the knife and she went over to help him to stand up.
“No… move away” – Derek muttered silently, trying to protect her from the evil item he was holding in his hand tightly.
“Stop being silly, you need help…” – he interrupted her.
“You don’t even have a life that bad as me, probably, to actually do it” – Derek said quietly when the girl helped him to sit on the edge of the bed. She turned her face to face his with anger.
“You know nothing about the memories that are haunting me!” – she nearly yelled even though Derek was next to her. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down as the shout gave him a migraine.
“Exactly… you have memories. You remember” – he gave out a moan.
“What… what do you mean?”
“I have amnesia. I cannot remember anything…
Why I am telling everything to that girl? I barely know her… or maybe it is easier to tell a total stranger what is up because you know… that they don’t care? You will not see them sad or upset… And why I fought for this girl’s life so much?
He looked at the knife he was holding; few blood drops came down his hand. And then it happened again. He zoomed out of what was going on around him.
His hands… looking down at them, slowly drops of blood were dripping, one by one. Knife falling on the floor with the sound that was so familiar… His hands shaking, as if he was ill, whole room blurry, but the knife and his trembling fingers were in focus…
Derek breathed in deeply. It took him few seconds to remind himself where he was and what he was trying to do. The girl was looking at him, little bit scared.
“I know why I don’t want you to do this stupid mistake so badly now… I’ve… just reminded myself…”
“Why?” – the girl was not sure if she can trust him, but she was fascinated. Living without memories that were hurting her so badly every single day.
“Because I used to do the same as you… but I don’t feel the need to do it anymore.”
“How did you stop though? What made you wanting to carry on living your life?”
“ I… I can’t remember.” – he moaned as he put his face in his hands. The girl didn’t know how to behave. She touched his shoulder, which made Derek flinch and look up.
“But… you can remind yourself of stuff, right?” – she asked.
“Yeah, I can. It can take years though for me to remember most of my life though. I just… know nothing. Believe me, I would love to have memories, even if they are harsh. Not knowing is just… killing me.” – the girl looked at the knife slowly. She took it away from his hands and she did put it on her vain. He didn’t even stop her. It was her choice now. The seconds seemed like hours when she was looking at the knife and at him, not sure what to do at all. Derek suddenly grabbed her hand. The nice warmth spread across her hand.
“Please… don’t do it… lets make a deal. I will take the knife away and you will not do it. We will talk tomorrow about everything… please, just give me a chance to convince you tomorrow, is all I am asking for.” – the girl just stared at him, hands shaking. Suddenly, with his great relief, she handed the knife to him.
“But… if you fail me… I will have no reason to stop at all. Got me?”
“Of course! – he smiled – I am at room 204, so you can hunt me down there if I will forget.”
“204… got it.” – Derek did stand up slowly, still not feeling well.
“Before I go… can I learn your name?” – the girl looked at him.
“Carmen… Carmen Fontez”
“My name is Derek… surname unknown for now.” – they exchanged a shake of hands. Just before, he was about to walk out of the room, he heard a voice.
“Derek… thank you.” – he smiled.
“You are welcome Carmen.”