I could see Cody’s face darkening as I pleaded with Kyle, but I didn’t care. I was in too much pain to care. I couldn’t tell where the physical pain from being beaten up ended and the emotional pain caused by the man I loved started. I didn’t understand what I’d been doing wrong. What hadn’t I been doing to keep him happy? Was it because I needed to get high to enjoy being fucked? Or that I needed the romance to make it feel right? The drag? Something else altogether?
I did my best to stop myself curling up. It had gone from feeling like my life was imploding, to feeling like my body was imploding. “Oh god, it hurts,” I whimpered, biting down on Cody’s arm to stop myself from screaming again. He winced, but my attention was focused mostly on Kyle, who was staying quiet. “Please, Kyle,” I mumbled around Cody’s skin, “give me another chance.”
"This is for the best, gorgeous," he told me.
“Does this look like it’s doing him any good?” Cody demanded as I clamped down on his arm again. Why are you biting your lip, Kyle? What use is that to anyone?
"Rayn, please, I'm no good for you," Kyle said when I didn’t say anything and Cody had nothing to add.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, asshole,” I reminded him, lowering myself onto my side, using Cody’s legs as a pillow. I pressed my hand to my ribs, drawing in a shaky breath. Fuck, it hurt. I looked at the shiny, bright red blood on my hand when I pulled it away and felt a fresh wave of tears.
“Rayn?” Kyle asked. I couldn’t see Cody’s face from this angle, but it wasn’t hard to imagine the panic and concern that would inevitably be there.
“It hurts,” I cried. He moved forward and pulled my t-shirt up to look at my chest.
“Fuck,” he muttered. "You need to go to the hospital, gorgeous." I shook my head. “Rayn, please.”
“I just need you,” I croaked, reaching my bloodied hand up to touch his face, to make sure he was really there.
"No, you need a doctor," he tried to correct me, but I shook my head again, feeling the sofa falling out from underneath me.
“You can drive, right?” Cody asked Kyle. He nodded and I was vaguely aware of being pulled into the back seat of a car, lying across Cody’s lap at an awkward angle. He had something pushing against my chest too. It hurt. I kept asking for Kyle, but no one answered me. Why would no one answer me?
White walls and the smell of hospitals washed over me as the car disappeared and I started to wriggle, trying to get away. I’ve never really been too fond of hospitals. They hurt, and they smell funny, and they couldn’t save my mom. Life would’ve been better if she’d been around.
"Rayn, it'll be okay," Kyle’s voice came from somewhere and I looked around for him. I saw his face, outlined in the bright white like a halo and his lips curving up in a small smile. I reached for him, and he took my hand. I squeezed it kinda hard. I didn’t wanna let go of him, but I was scared he’d let go of me. So I held on tight enough for the both of us. It was easier to breathe when he squeezed back.
Somehow I ended up in a bed. My chest hurt a little less, but there wasn’t any morphine involved. If I could burn my record so I could get morphine when I actually needed it, I’d probably not mind hospitals so much. I groaned a little. It was kinda hard to open my eyes, but when I managed it, all I saw was Cody looking all unimpressed for some reason. Kyle... Kyle was still here. He stayed, even though he said he wanted to go. He looked at me, that beautiful half smile on his face.
Cody went into instant big brother mode, making sure I was okay. “Do you need me to get you anything?” he asked.
“Just Kyle,” I said quietly, my voice cracking. “I just want Kyle.” Cody looked at him, and I followed his gaze. Kyle was staring at the floor, keeping his silence.
“What?” he asked quietly.
“You heard him. I still don’t think leaving him is right. You keep saying it’s for Rayn’s own good, but how much of it is foryourbenefit?” Don’t do this now, Cody. Kyle glared at him a little.
“Please don’t fight,” I whispered. Cody turned back to face me, running his fingers through my hair. I winced inwardly. Him touching it just reminded me how short it was now. “You know if you fight, I’ll just pull the stitches out.”
"Don't do that, gorgeous," Kyle said and I looked back at him.
“Then don’t argue. You know how much I hate fighting.”
"I know. Sorry."
“Please stay, Kyle. I need you to stay with me. I’ll be better, I promise.”