I can't say I was proud of what I said to Kyle. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't about to leave him, but it'd definitely take me more than a week to decide it was okay to go back.
See, I'm good at running away. One of the reasons I'm good at being lost and finding my way back to somewhere I know. My dad tried everything he could think of to keep me in the house, but I always managed to get away somehow. But the thing is, as many times as I ran away, I always went back. At least, I did until I was old enough to legally move out. Because I had nowhere else to go. I had no one else to turn to. So I went back to my dad.
So I'll go back to Kyle. Not that he's anything like my dad... I just know I'll go back, because he's better than being alone. It's just a matter of time, really. I'm sure if my dad can figure that out, Kyle can too. Well, I hope he does anyways.
Still, no point thinking about that all, really. I'm hoping that kind of threat will stop him from actually doing anything stupid.
I woke up suddenly. It was like I'd been under water all night and someone had pulled me out too quickly.
I hadn't had my normal dream for once. The phrase 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't' made sense all of a sudden. As much as I hated my dad being inside my head every night, I think I'd rather take that than a dream about Kyle getting himself killed because he didn't listen to me.
Sitting up a little, I saw Kyle sat in the chair beside my bed, half asleep. "Huh?" He asked, smiling sleepily as he noticed me moving. I returned it with a small smile, doing my best to try and convince myself to stop panicking about Kyle.
"How're you?" he asked, his voice still all tired.
"Uh... Too early to tell." It wasn't strictly the truth, but I figured it'd be better to not worry him any more than I already have. He laughed slightly at that. "You?"
"Get in bed then," I said, shifting up to give him room. Not that I take up much space anyway. He climbed into bed, and I sort of curled up against him, my head on his chest. His steady heartbeat comforted me as we snuggled up; it convinced me I was awake and he was still with me. He planted a kiss on the top of my head and I slid an arm underneath him and held him kinda tightly. It was kind of like a death grip on him, like he was my life line or something. I listened as his breathing slowed to his usual sleeping pace and fiddled with his hair for a bit.
I was having a staring contest against the wall when he woke up, smiling at me. "Rayn?" His voice made me blink and I looked at him.
"You okay?" His brows dipped down in a small frown and I nodded. "Sure?"
I pushed a little smile onto my lips, "yeah." He didn't look too convinced by that. I replaced my head on his chest, feeling him kiss it again.
"Rayn, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just glad you're here." That didn't convince him either. I didn't even notice I'd tightened my grip on him til he sighed. "Seriously, what's up?"
"I just had a bad dream. It's nothing."
I hesitated. He'd know I was lying if I said the usual, 'cause I don't usually turn into a wreck like this after having the normal dream. But I didn't want him to worry. "I just... Don't want you going after those guys, okay?"
"I won't," he said and I relaxed my grip on him a little. "Is that what your bad dream was about?" I gave him a tiny nod, feeling his arms wrap around me. I nuzzled him, wishing I could hold him tighter without squishing him. "M'sorry."
"Why?" I asked.
"For how I acted."
"It's okay." He didn't look much like he agreed, but instead of arguing, he just cuddled me more.