As promised, Rayn forced a house warming party on me. He bought a stereo, booze and, of course, drugs along with him. I didn't argue with it, there wasn't really any point. Especially given that half the people turning up were the people I used to hang out and get high with before I got arrested.
Given that I had a pretty small place, it got pretty crowded pretty quickly, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I laughed as a few of them turned up in fancy dress. I hadn't known it was gonna be a fancy dress thing. Rayn himself turned up in drag, all dolled up with Kyle in tow.
He threw himself at me in his usual jumphug greeting, managing not to impale me on his stiletto heels and grinned.
"Look, look, I told you I'd invite the pope. He said you've been a very naughty boy and need to repent for your sins. Good luck," he winked, giggling as he got down off me. I looked around, and sure enough there was someone that had dressed up as the pope. I can only imagine that Rayn had had a hissy fit at the poor guy til he agreed to dress up like that.
I kind of wondered why Rayn was so excited about someone coming dressed up as the pope as he pushed me in the guy's direction, giggling. I glanced back at him and he waved me away, pointing at the guy he wanted me to talk to. I shrugged and figured I might as well go say hi.
I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to face me, a smile breaking out on his face.
"Hey, Damien. It's been a while."
"Phil?" I asked incredulously.
I hadn't really meant to skulk off outside with him, but I needed a break from the noise. We went up onto the roof together after he'd gotten rid of his outfit and sat smoking together, quietly admiring the stars.
"How come you never told me you were in jail? Or that you broke up with Kyle?" He asked, putting on this offended tone. I shrugged.
"I dunno. After all that's happened, I wasn't sure you'd wanna hear from me. Much less hear that I was in jail," I laughed slightly, wondering vaguely if that really was the reason or not.
"I told you I'd always be there for you, stupid." I glanced away from the stars to his face and smiled slightly. I was only just beginning to realise how much I'd missed the guy.
"Yeah, I know. M'sorry I never called or anything. Kyle told me to call you to get back with you, but I didn't know whether I should or not. For all I knew, you'd gone and gotten married and had lots of kids by now," we both laughed slightly at that. He shook his head.
"I did have a couple of girlfriends, but... I dunno, it just never worked out." He looked at me. "What about you? Has there been anyone else apart from Kyle?"
"I was with a guy called Nathan for a while, but I think we both kind of realised at some point I still loved Kyle, even though he'd gotten with Rayn."
"Yeah, that one surprised me, I've gotta admit. I always thought he was asexual."
I nodded, lighting another cigarette. "So did I. I think we all thought he was. Maybe I should be asexual. Then I wouldn't have to worry about my love life," I let out a sigh, lying down on the rough roof. Phil looked down at me.
"No luck finding someone new then?"
"What's the point? I'm still gonna be hung up on Kyle, no matter who I end up with. They'd just be another rebound, and I'm not cruel enough to do that to someone else now I've realised."
He smiled, pushing some hair out of my face. I closed my eyes, wondering if what Kyle said was right, that we'd fall for each other again and be in love and fucking like rabbits before we knew it. I wanted to move on so fucking bad, but I didn't know if I was quite ready to let go of my hope that Rayn's attitude towards sex would be the undoing of their relationship and I'd be the one Kyle came to for comfort. I pushed that thought aside, instantly feeling bad about it. Yeah. Definitely not ready to let go yet.
"You'll know when you're ready, Damien. 'Cause it's all in there, isn't it?" he put a hand on my chest where my heart was and planted the tiniest kiss on my lips. My eyes opened and he was still kind of smiling. And then he was walking back inside, and I realised my cigarette had burnt down to the butt without me noticing.