Rayn: panicMature

I was vaguely aware of the words "I'll be a good boy" coming out of my mouth as I snapped awake, curled up halfway down the bed next to Kyle, cringing away from an imaginary threat. I was kind of used to Kyle waking me up if I was having a bad dream, but for some reason, he wasn't awake. At first in my adrenaline pumped state, I panicked and thought he was dead from overdosing or something.

I checked his breathing and his pulse, doing my best to calm down when I realised he was in fact asleep.

I can't say I did too well at calming down. Annoyed at him for making me panic, I landed a heavy slap across his face.

"What's happening?" He asked, jerking awake.

"You frightened the shit out of me, that's what's happening," I half yelled.

"I was asleep, what did I do?"

"I couldn't see you breathing when I woke up - I thought you'd gone and died on me."

"Why would you think that?" he arched an eyebrow at me and I sat back on my heels.

"Knowing your dealer's cutting your smack with other stuff made me panic, okay? I don't really mind you getting high, but at least don't buy from that guy again."

"You worry too much. I'll be fine." I gritted my teeth, slapping him again. "Ow, what was that for?"

"You're my boyfriend, and I've got about ten more years experience of drug use on you. I do not worry too much."

"Didn't mean you had to hit me," he pouted.

"I thought maybe it might help get it into your head, since you're so fucking hard to talk to these days."

"Am I?"

"You are when you're high," I sighed, "which is most of the time now."

"Sorry." I didn't say anything to that, getting up to feed Scruffles. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and I stood up, leaning into him a little. I definitely preferred him sober. "I really am sorry, gorgeous," he said.

"It's fine," I muttered, "it's not like I can stop you from doing drugs is it?" I'd be a hypocrite if I tried. He rested his head on my shoulder and I kissed it, linking my hands on top of his.

"I'll quit if you want."

"It has to be up to you to do that, sexy pants. I'm not gonna force you to do anything."

"I know. But I feel bad enough about Damien and Nevada, I don't want to add this to my list of things to feel bad about." I reached up and played with his hair.

"It's okay. Like I said, it's up to you what you do." He nuzzled me a little and I smiled. This was the Kyle I agreed to go out with. I kind of missed him.

"I'll go get rid of what Alfie sold me, yeah?"

"If you want to, gorgeous." He let go of me to go get the stuff and I left him to flush it himself. He's a big boy, he can handle flushing some speedball down the toilet. While I waited for him, I got Scruffles out and laid down on the bed, playing with him. He wanders back in and I glance up at him, looking straight back down at Scruffles when I saw the happy look on his face. He settled down next to me, but I kept stroking Scruffles' head, my gaze fixed on him. He's getting kinda anti social. I guess no one else is brave enough to get him out and play with him.

"I got rid of it," Kyle told me with a smile.

"Thank you," I smiled back, planting a quick kiss on his lips. I didn't wanna start an argument, so I didn't say anything about the fact he's pretty obviously taken some before flushing the rest. Humming, he snuggled up to me, and I wrapped one arm over him, leaving room between us for Scruffles to sit.

"Hi, Scruffles," he held out a finger for him to sniff and I smiled some more as Scruffles nibbled his finger gently, making him giggle. I picked him up and put him on Kyle's shoulder, watching as he attempted to stroke the squirrel. He let out a whine as Scruffles clamped his teeth down on his finger, drawing blood. I held back a giggle at that. "Your squirrel's mean," he sulked and I kissed his forehead.

"Poor baby." He just kept sulking and bleeding so I get up to put Scruffles back in his cage while I went to get Kyle a band aid. He sulked some more, holding up his finger and I rolled my eyes a little, putting the band aid on for him. He smiled once it was on.

"Luff you," he told me.

"Luff you too, silly," I replied, sitting back down on the bed with him. We snuggled back up with each other, and I rested my head on his shoulder, selfishly hoping that he'd be able to keep off the drugs.

The End

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