"Me and Kyle are on a break," I announce once I'm let out of the handcuffs. Nathan sits up and stares at me, surprise written all over his face.
"Seriously?" I nod, the words in my mind dying in my throat as I choke back a sob. He grabs my hand and pulls me down onto the bunk for a hug.
"I can't-" I start, coughing to mask another sob, "I just can't trust him anymore," I finish. He nods understandingly, stroking my hair, "I want to, y'know? But he's done it to me too many times. I really love him, Nate. What do I do?"
"I dunno," he sighs, letting me bury my head in his neck and cry it all out. I feel pathetic for it, but I do feel a little better afterwards. While I'm being a big baby, he's littering my neck and shoulders with tiny kisses and whispering about how I'll be okay and things will work out for me and Kyle if they're meant to.
I can't help thinking that the kissing was vaguely inappropriate given that I'm in tears because of Kyle. But they calm me down, so I don't stop him. His hand rubs my back gently and soon the tears have stopped. I don't lift my head, keeping my face pressed to the wet patch on his shirt, feeling a little embarrassed by it.
He hooks a finger under my chin and lifts it up, his eyes searching mine. And then his lips are pushing against mine. His tongue pushes into my mouth and for a moment we wrestle for dominance with with our mouths. Needless to say, he wins. He lays me down on the bunk and crawls over me, our lips never parting.
I kiss him harder and he matches it, rolling his hips a little as I palm him. "Are you sure about this?" He asks as I start to pull his shirt off. I nod, tossing it to the floor.
I pull the blanket over both of us and nuzzle his chest, feeling strangely safe under the arm draped across me. His fingers draw patterns in the sheen of sweat clinging to my skin, making me shudder pleasurably. He grins when he sees that a lazy smile of my own is tattooed on my lips. He kisses the top of my head, pulling me up so we're both level with each other.
He kisses me softly, prying my lips open gently, his hand tracing my ribs carefully. "I wasn't too rough, was I?" I shake my head, despite the waves of pain that say otherwise. It felt too good for me to tell him that he hurt me. I could've happily felt like that forever.
"I love you," I mumble sleepily, not exactly aware of what I'm saying. Nathan sort of freezes up. "What?" I ask. I'd been enjoying the snuggle, and I can't really say I want him going all rigid and weird.
"Nothing," he whispers, relaxing again, "go to sleep, gorgeous," he tells me, tangling his fingers in my hair. I let out a quiet hum, closing my eyes and drifting off.