I'm still miserable by the time we get back to the prison. I didn't cry on the way back, I managed to hold it in long enough. But I did ignore any attempts my probation officer made at conversation. I'd have thought it was pretty obvious I wasn't really in the mood to talk, but there you go.
I let the guards walk me inside and wait quietly for them to uncuff me when we reach my cell. Nathan sits up when he sees me, watching the guard take the handcuffs off and leave me to it. My hands fall limply to my sides and I just kind of stare at the wall for a moment. He gets up and silently wraps his arms around me. I hug back, instantly burying my head in his neck.
He barely gets more than a few words out of me all day, and embarrassingly cry myself to sleep just like when I first got here. Only difference is Nathan crawls into bed with me when he realises I'm crying and holds me in his arms til I finally drift off.
My mood is pretty foul over the next couple days. As amazing as Christmas was, it sort of sunk in about five minutes after I got in that car that I'd have to wait a whole year for that again. And that's if I can keep my behaviour good enough for them. Nathan is the only person who doesn't piss me off just by existing, and even though I've caught him with a boner a couple times, he knows better than to pester me for sex.
When Kyle's visit day rolls around, the evil mood I've been making everyone else in the unit suffer lifts a little.
At least, it does until I'm walked in and see an ugly purple-black bruise around one of his eyes. I frown as I sit down with him, feeling instantly protective and frustrated because I can't really do anything about whoever gave him that.
"Nothing. I got in a fight with a guy at work," he tells me. My frown doesn't budge. Why do I not quite believe him? "How's Nathan?" he asks quietly when I don't say anything.
"That was Matt, wasn't it?" I accuse, doing my best to contain my anger towards the guy.
"Kyle, please just tell me the truth," I say, trying to calm myself down.
"I got into a fight at work." Kyle, you don't just get into fights. I don't understand why you're covering for him. I don't say anything, half trying to figure out how to get Kyle to admit it wasn't a fight at work, and half trying to figure out who in my unit would be best to ask to kick the shit out of Matt.
"Can we quit this whole open relationship thing?" I ask after a while.
"Sure," he says. I wasn't expecting it to be that easy, to be honest, but I'm not complaining. I will if I find out Matt doesn't stop going over though. I wrap him in a hug, feeling just a little bit possessive. He kinda hugs back, and I plant a kiss on his cheek.
"I don't want you to be lonely, but I just... I dunno." He hums and I hold him a little closer against me, being careful in case that asshole had hurt him anywhere else. He buries his head in my neck and I kiss the top of it.
"What about you and Nathan?"
"It doesn't matter. You should know by now nothing is more important to me than that you're okay." Now I sound sappy, but it's fucking true.
"I'm fine, gorgeous."
"It really looks it with that black eye."
"It's nothing, seriously."
"How are you going to get him to leave you alone? He didn't really seem like the kinda guy that takes no for an answer, to me," I frown a little to myself.
"I'll just ignore him or something," he shrugs slightly.
"D'you want me to get someone to hang around and make sure he doesn't come back?"
He shakes his head, "I'll be fine."
I run my hand through his hair. "Let me know if you change your mind," I tell him, and he nods. The both of us stay quiet after that. I just keep him in that possessive cuddle until our time's up. I could've quite happily never let go of him.