I hadn't exactly wanted to try an open relationship again but I didn't really have much choice after Matt charmed his way into my bed again. After that, agreeing to it was the only way to make myself feel less guilty about it. It's shallow, I know, but I wasn't exactly willing to see how my fucked up mind would handle the guilt piling up on me. I wouldn't do that to Damien, even though what I was doing now was worse in my books.
Matt purred as I got home from work, his arms instantly finding their way around my waist. I'd gotten used to it after a week or so but it still felt weird coming home to someone that wasn't Damien. Matt had tried to make up for it by treating me to fancy dinners and expensive clothes but if anything, it just made me feel even guiltier. I'm not an idiot, I know he was trying to buy my affection but I didn't have the heart to tell him it wouldn't work. I tilted my head as he planted tiny kisses on my neck, the warmth of his nose feeling alien on my cold skin. I'd been walking home instead of driving so I had a chance to clear my head each night.
"How was work?" Matt asked, still kissing my neck.
"Fine. We weren't all that busy, to be honest"
He hummed, moving his kisses up to my jaw. I shut my eyes, doing my best to imagine it was Damien's lips ghosting against my skin. But for all my imaginative skill, it wasn't working. Matt kissed differently to Damien and I couldn't picture my gorgeous boyfriend being the one behind it.
"Let's go to bed" he said huskily, sort of pulling me along.
I sighed. "Matt, I'm tired"
"I'll be quick" he said, flashing me the puppy eyes.
"I haven't eaten anything today"
"So we'll get take out or something afterwards. C'mon, it'll only take a few minutes"
I bit back a groan and let him pull me into the bedroom, stripping me within seconds and pushing me down on the bed. He grinned at me as he crawled over me, his hand snaking down to play with my uninterested dick. I thought of Damien, as usual, and soon enough I was vaguely hard enough for Matt to fuck me. Don't get me wrong, Matt was a great fuck, but he wasn't Damien. And being topped just reminded me of being a whore, but I didn't care enough to tell him otherwise. I kind of got the feeling he wouldn't stick around for very long if he found out I used to be a whore. That could just've been me being a negative asshole, though.
I clenched my teeth as Matt pushed in. He was always rough to begin with and as much as I like rough sex, after being on the receiving end every night for just over a week... Well, I'm sure you can imagine. Matt's fingers tangled in my hair as he set up a rhythm a little faster than usual. I shut my eyes, trying my hardest to pretend it was Damien. It worked for a while; I ended up wondering for a good minute or two whether Damien would be willing to top every now and then or if he was a total and complete sub. But then Matt's voice broke through my fantasy.
"You're thinking about him" I looked up at him. A sheen of sweat glimmered on his brow and he was a little out of breath. I could feel his cock inside me, still hard, and I guessed something had distracted him.
"No I'm not" I said kind of weakly, stroking his arm.
"You are. I stopped fucking you like three minutes ago and you didn't even notice"
"Oh... Sorry" I blushed. Three minutes? How did I not notice him not moving for three minutes? He sighed.
"It's fine. I can hardly stop you thinking about your boyfriend, huh?"
"Sorry" I said again, actually meaning it. I thought I'd been covering it up better but I guess not...
Matt pulled out and sat there in silence, an almost thoughtful look on his face. I watched him curiously, almost scared to ask what he was thinking. He looked at me and an idea seemed to form in his head. He leant forward and pressed his lips to mine, sliding an arm behind my back and gently pulling me up onto my knees. I kissed back, not entirely sure what he was up to. He pulled me closer and I blushed a little as I felt his boner press against my stomach. He kissed me softly, pressing himself even closer to me. I matched the pressure as I kissed back, his free hand trailing up to tangle in my hair. He pushed his tongue past my lips and into my mouth as his grip on my hair tightened. Before I knew it, his lips had disconnected from mine and he'd flipped me over. I was still on my knees and I got the feeling I wasn't exactly going to like where this was going. His arm snaked around my waist, the tips of his fingers grazing my cock teasingly. I let out a gasp and he chuckled kind of darkly. I shut my eyes as I felt his breath tickle against my ear and he kissed the side of my head.
"Don't be shy" he whispered, making me blush as his fingers brushed against my cock again.
I let out a moan as he gripped my member roughly. He bit down on my shoulder, his hand doing more than enough to make me beg him to fuck me. His arm locked round my hips as he pushed in again, thrusting with twice as much enthusiasm as before. I moaned, trying to shift my hips to meet each thrust but his arm kept me still. I whined a little, wriggling my hips to try and get him to loosen his grip but it had the opposite effect, making him tighten his grip even further.
"Please" I said desperately but he ignored me.
He let out a moan of his own and I wriggled a little more, figuring if he got a kick out of it he might be a little more sympathetic.
"Please, Matt... Fuck" I moaned out and he chuckled, thrusting that little bit harder. He gripped my cock again, pumping in time with each thrust and turning me into a mess of moans beneath him.