“You smell different” Matt said as he wrapped me in a hug.
“Huh?” I asked, kind of confused by it. I smelt different? Why did he know what I smelt like in the first place? We’d hugged like once or something. It felt... kind of creepy.
He shrugged. “You smell different. So, how’re things?” he said, making himself at home on the couch.
I settled down next to him, switching the TV on. He flashed me his usual smile as I started talking, telling him all about Damien finally getting his transfer and how fucking great it was to be able to hold him again. Matt nodded, not saying anything as I spoke. I was honestly starting to enjoy his company more than I probably should have. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t about to jump in to bed with him but I kind of wanted him around the place more often. I felt kind of bad for thinking like that but it was only because he was a source of comfort, right?
“What’s up?” Matt’s voice broke through my train of thought and made me jump. He smiled a little, “You were being kinda quiet”
“Oh, no, I’m fine” I smiled.
“Good. I like it when you’re happy, you’ve got a nice smile”
I blushed and he chuckled, sort of snuggling up to me and settling down for a night in front of the TV.
“We’re going out tonight” Matt announced a couple weeks later.
I’d been perfectly happy to just relax in front of the TV with a couple of beers like usual but Matt seemed determined to get me out of the apartment for something either than work, seeing Damien or getting groceries. I let him drag me out with a sigh, expecting him to go to the bar from before. But instead we’d ended up at some kinda posh restaurant. I looked at him a little curiously and he assured me the whole thing was strictly platonic. It didn’t put me at ease entirely but hey, it was a free meal after all. We both ordered some fancy pasta thing and he let m chatter away while we waited.
“Kyle,” he said a while after we’d started eating, “How do you feel about me?”
“Hmm?” I asked looking up from my plate, a string of spaghetti dangling from my mouth. I hadn’t really been paying attention and had no idea what he’d said.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything,” he said nervously, “And like I said, I’d never try and come between you and Damien, it’s just... It’s been bugging me”
“I asked how you felt about me”
I sucked up the piece of spaghetti and looked at him. “I feel... I feel like... I feel like you’re a really good friend” I smiled.
He smiled back but I couldn’t help but notice the disappointed look in his eyes. Had he been counting on me saying something else?
The rest of the meal was spent in this sort of awkward silence. I almost felt guilty for only thinking of him as a friend. I did only think of him as a friend, right? He paid for the meal and drove me home, ultimately making it feel like a really awkward date by walking me to my door. I chuckled a little nervously, not sure what to do. I mean, do I say I had a good time or is that too much like a date? Or do I just say goodbye and fuck off inside? Matt smiled, apparently noticing my confusion. I was just about to say thanks for everything when I felt his lips brush against mine. I froze, not really sure whether to kiss back or shove him off. He kept his lips pressed to mine and before I knew it, I was kissing back.