I'd been saving up the money and courage to ask for my favours. It'd taken the best part of the four months I've been here, but I've finally got enough. I hope. I found out what unit doesn't have the screens in the visiting room, and I know who can fix my paper work.
In the mean time, me and Nathan have managed to rebuild our friendship. I don't know quite how, with my temper getting worse and worse over the weeks, but somehow he manages to deal with it. And somehow, he actually manages to calm me down. Aaron got off on probation a couple weeks ago, and Nathan somehow found a way to get moved to my cell. So now, I don't just get talked at til I'm less likely to punch something. Instead, I get a hug, and Nathan's silence. He doesn't talk. He doesn't need to. Somehow he just knows I need time.
Sometimes I still cry after a visit. I know I'm upsetting Kyle, but there's never anything new to tell him, and it's pretty clear that his lawyer - if he has the money for one at all - isn't going to get me out of here before I'm supposed to be out of here. Those times, Nathan hugs me tighter and for longer than usual. It feels nice. It's not the same as having Kyle there for me, but I make do. It's better than Aaron's hugs.
I come back from Kyle's visit quietly today. Which is unusual for me. Usually, I'm so annoyed at myself for having nothing to say, I just shout at anyone who gets in my way. But today, I'm just as quiet as I was in the visit. With a sigh, I slump onto my bunk and curl up, ignoring Nathan above me. He jumps down and perches on the edge of my bed.
"Nothing," I sigh, pulling my pillow over my head. He just sits there. After a while, he puts his hand on my shoulder, and leans down, kissing my cheek, before fucking off to his bunk again. What? What the fuck was that? I sit bolt upright, hitting my head on the bunk with a loud cuss. I stand up and tower over him using the ladder. "The fuck was that for?" He blinks, like he doesn't know what he did for a second.
And then he blushes. "Shit, sorry man. I just... sorry."
"You know I have a partner, you fucking asshole!" I shout. His blush deepens and he cringes away from me a little. Have I really gotten that scary since being in here?
"I know, I know, I just didn't think. I'm sorry!"
"Fuck you," I snap, dropping down from the ladder and storming out into the yard.
I don't see Nathan at dinner in the canteen. He was probably there, I just wasn't looking too hard for him in the mass of uniforms, but it was kinda odd eating with other people. Especially when I want to apologise for snapping at him.
When I get back to our cell, he's already lying on his bed, a sort of emo look on his face. He tries to smile at me, but it fails miserably.
I sigh inwardly and climb up, shifting over him and squeezing in behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist and just lie there, spooning with him. His hand rests on top of mine, and I already know I'm forgiven.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I don't want to like you as much as I do. Just can't seem to help it."