After visits from Kyle, I cry harder at night. Aaron always knows when I've had a visit from him, because the night after every visit, I revert back to how I was when I first got here. It's been nearly two months now, and I'm sort of used to it here. I've done my best to appease everyone as best I can, but it's a surprise if I don't end up in solitary for something nearly every week. Usually the day after Kyle's been.
Me and Aaron almost have a routine down now when Kyle visits. In the morning, he's friendly towards me, almost sympathetic, after lights out, he hugs me - for his benefit, of course, not mine - and the day after he, and most of the unit avoid me and my foul mood swings.
It's after my visit, that there's a new guy in the unit who clearly doesn't know who to avoid.
Wanna know who that guy is?
One of the guys from the band - Nathan. I guess that probably should've made me feel a tiny bit better about being there, knowing I wasn't the only one to get caught, but all I feel when I see him is pure rage.
"You fucking asshole!" I yell, running into him. We both fall to the floor, me an angry whirl of fists and insults, Nathan a cowering, fearful wreck beneath me. By the time the guards manage to pull me off him, I've done a fair bit of damage anyways. I struggle against them, figuring I'm already going to solitary for beating the crap out of Nathan as it is. I spit and swear and scream at them, managing to kick Nathan a couple more times before they get me too far away from him for my struggling to do any good. I spot Aaron watching them dragging me off. "What the fuck you looking at, dickwad?" I shout at him, too wound up to care if he's the closest thing I've got to a friend in here right now.
I'm thrown into the solitary confinement cell unceremoniously, my face and the floor making quick friends. One of the guards spits on me and promises he'll be back later to ‘teach me a fucking lesson' before slamming the door on me.
I pace around the cell for a while, punching the walls occasionally and shouting aimlessly. I don't care if I look like a lunatic. If me and Nathan are gonna be spending more than the day in the same unit, I'm most definitely going to be here for four years, no matter who I fuck, or how good I try to be, ‘cause shit, the fact that they all knew I was trying to give up drugs, but not one of them cared enough to stop me is fucking infuriating.
I flex my fists, feeling my knuckles burning and hot with the blood trickling from them where I've hit the walls so hard.
I'm asleep when that guard comes back. I hadn't really calmed down when I fell asleep, but I was so tired from having been awake most of the night it just sort of happened.
"You given up acting like a crazy yet, prick?" the guy asks gruffly, shutting the door behind him as he steps toward me. I sit up, glaring at him.
"You think just ‘cause you got the uniform on and a fucking baton that you can treat us all like shit? Man, if I wouldn't get kept in here longer than I already am, I'd fucking rip your head off right now, I swear to God," I growl, the words spilling out of my mouth with all the hatred I feel for the guards and Nathan combined.
"Then maybe we ought to keep you in here for more than one night, eh? Maybe a week on your own will teach you to keep your mouth shut," he punches me in the stomach, forcing my breath out of me. I double up, unable to fight back as he shoves me to the floor and proceeds to kick the shit out of me.