I was a little nervous as I made my way back to the prison a week later to go see Damien. It didn’t take a genius to know he’d be getting used as a sex toy and I guess I was just paranoid that there’d be someone inside who was better than me or something. Just me being an idiot, as usual.
I’d say my bruises were starting to calm down a little but that’d be a lie. The ones that were black had turned blue and the blue ones were now dark purple. So I guess they were calming down, in a way. I still looked a mess, though. I’d gone back to the restaurant to beg for my job back and they rehired me on the spot when they saw the state of me. I’d used up most of the concealer after the couple days I went to work and eventually they gave up and told me to come back when I was ready because if anyone even tapped my shoulder it sent a wave of nauseating pain through me. Honestly, hospital, you could’ve at least given me some pain meds or something.
I almost didn’t want to see Damien. The wave of sadness that washed over me when I saw him was too much. But I had to be strong. I had to be. I sat opposite him, that stupid fucking screen separating us again. I’d done my best to cover up the bruises again, though I’d had to leave a few of the ones on my neck uncovered and just hoped he didn’t spot them.
"How'd you get that?" seeing a split in his lip.
He looked a little confused, touching his lip. "Oh. Got in a fight"
My jaw dropped a little at that but he shrugged it off. Okay then...
"How're things?" I asked.
"Getting kinda monotonous apart from the fights. How're you doing?"
"Okay, I guess"
"Healing up okay?"
I prodded my stitches, almost saying something about my bruises before I remembered he hadn’t really seen them. "I think so"
"Well don't prod them" he laughed a little and I smiled. He smiled back but it wasn’t his smile.
"Any news about your mom?"
"Uh, she said no. Well. She kinda screamed it, but y'know. A 'no' is a 'no'"
"I can try and get you a decent lawyer or something" Not that I exactly have the money for a decent lawyer...
"Even if you had the money for that, I'm not sure what good it'll do. If I behave, they'll maybe let me out after three years instead of four, though"
I felt my spirits kind of lift at that. There was a chance he could get out earlier? He sighed a little, though.
"Don't get your hopes up, babe, I've already been in solitary three times since I got here"
He thought about it and counted them off on his fingers. "First time because I got in a fight, second time was after you visited last week because I swore at the guard, and third time was last night, for fighting again"
He smiled a little but he was kind of on the verge of tears as well. "I probably wouldn't get in so many fights if I just let them fuck me"
I broke out the sad face. I’d known it was going on, I guess it just hit home when he said it out loud.
"I dunno what I should do" he sniffled.
"I don't... I mean, if it makes things easier... But..."
He sniffled again. "I don't want to be their little whore"
"So don't be"
He buried his head in his hands. "What a choice. Three years of being a sex toy, or four years fighting them off" he said and I bit my lip. "What d'you think, gorgeous?"
What do I think? “I... I think..." I sighed. "I don't know. Sorry"
He sighed slightly. "It's okay"
I said nothing, trying to cope with the idea of someone else fucking my boyfriend.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have landed that on you" he said after a while.
"No, it's fine"
"While I was waiting, I just thought you should know, but now I feel kinda shitty about it. Guess I'd have felt worse if I didn't, though"
"Babe, it's fine"
He nodded and I kind of got the feeling he was trying to take his mind off it. "So are you back at work yet?"
"I'm not much use to them in this state" I said, chuckling a little.
He gave me a small smile. "I s'pose not"
I didn’t really know what to say and he looked like he was about to cry again.
"I hope whatever lawyer you can afford can get me out of here"
"I'll get you the best lawyer I can" I said, putting my hand against the screen. I’d never wanted to hold his hand so fucking much.
"Thanks" he said, his hand lined up with mine.
I smiled and he kind of smiled back. I barely had time to enjoy our imaginary contact because that fucking guard appeared and told him to sit back.
I sighed. "Why? It's not like you can do anything, is it?"
He shrugged and I sniffled at the sad look on his face. I just wanted to hold him. At the very least I wanted to be able to kiss him goodbye. Because I’d been busy been a petty little asshole I’d missed out on the chance to tell him I loved him before he went inside. To kiss him one last time before I had to wait those four long years to be able to do it again. Damien dug around in his pocket, slipping the guard some money before putting his hand back.
"I love you"
"I love you too" I said, trying not to cry.
He brushed his thumb across the screen where my cheek would be. "Don't cry, gorgeous"
I sniffled and wiped my eyes, returning the small smile he gave me. I tried to ignore the fact that our time’d be up soon while Damien tried to think of something else to say. He was doing a better job of trying not to cry than me.
"I miss you so much"
"I miss you too, gorgeous"
I couldn’t hold back the tiny sob that I’d been trying to keep contained, at least til Damien was gone. I wiped my eyes again as that sad look crept onto his face. Damien looked through his pockets for more money when we were told our time was up but he’d run out. I felt the tears start up again.
"I'll see you next week, yeah?"
"Yeah" he said, his eyes welling up.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
The guard handcuffed him and I just sat there crying til he’d gone. At which point I went home and cried myself to sleep, dreaming of Damien.