“Please let me see him” I wheezed at one of the nurses, fighting back a coughing fit.
“I’m sorry, but you need to stay here until we’re sure you won’t fall into another coma”
“Please, I need to see him”
“But I have to” I said, tears rolling over my cheeks.
“I really am sorry, but you really can’t. Maybe in a week or two”
“A week? A whole fucking week? I can’t wait that long” I cried, the extra effort sending me into that coughing fit I was on about.
The nurse made her escape then and no more was said about it since she avoided me. Most of the nurses avoided me, actually. I guess they couldn’t deal with denying me from seeing my boyfriend when I was already gonna have to wait four years to have him back. Oh God, it sounded worse when I said it. Four fucking years. I let out a sob at the thought of it. I couldn’t even curl up to try and comfort myself, my muscles ached at the idea of it let alone the action. Eventually a nurse came over and pulled the curtains around my bed, shielding me from the rest of the ward. Apparently my crying was disrupting the other patients.
Two whole fucking weeks later I was finally allowed to leave. It would’ve been a week if my lungs hadn’t decided to have a bitch fit and give up on me for a day. Fucking useless piece of shit organs. I caught sight of myself for the first time when I got home. I looked about as shit as I felt. Almost every inch of me was covered in cuts and bruises and my face was a mess. There was a mess of stitches where I’d collided with the mirror and my nose looked like it could have possibly been broken. There were bruises all over my face but the worst was a deep black circle around my right eye. Man, I looked fucking sexy.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Seeing Damien’s stuff dotted around the apartment but without him there... I wrapped my arms around myself, trying not to cry as I tried to convince myself it was Damien’s arms and not my own. It didn’t work in the slightest. I’d managed to get to sleep okay in the hospital because there was nothing else to do other than cry and beg the nurses and doctors to let me out just for five minutes so I could see Damien.
I looked at my reflection. I’d gone to the drug store a couple days before and got some of that concealer shit so I could at least cover up the worst of the bruises. I didn’t want Damien to see how bad it was really. I didn’t want him to worry. If anything, it probably just made me look worse. I sighed and rolled down my sleeves to cover the bruises on my arms and the backs of my hands. Yep, he even got there. I sighed, figuring I looked as good as I could and left for the prison.
Damien reacted just as I’d imagined when he saw the state of me, his jaw dropping slightly. I pulled out a tiny little smile, ignoring the slight wheeze in my chest.
"How're you feeling?” he asked.
"Like shit" I chuckled slightly. "You?"
"Not brilliant" he said, forcing the tiniest of smiles.
I was quiet for a little while. My throat had dried up while I tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to overwhelm me. It didn’t last, though. “I miss you so fucking much" I said, my eyes welling up.
His face twisted into a sad expression. "I miss you too. Considering the amount of people in here, it's so lonely"
I sniffled and the sad look stayed pressed to his face.
"I want a hug"
"I want to give you a hug" he said, kind of glaring at the glass screen that separated us.
I couldn’t even glare at it, too busy fighting of the tears. I had to be strong, if not for myself then for Damien. But it was so fucking hard. Damien put a hand on the screen and I placed my against it, lining it up with his. I sniffled, almost managing to smile. Damien sighed a little and the guard guy slapped him around the back of the head, telling him to sit back. I pulled out the sad face. That was the closest I was going to get to him in a long time.
"If I don't call for a few days, it's 'cause I'm using my phone calls to try and persuade mom to get me out of here early" he said and I nodded.
"You okay? Stupid question" I laughed a little nervously when he was quiet for a while.
He looked at me. "I- Will you wait for me? I don't expect you to, I just..." he trailed off, looking at the floor.
"Of course I will. You mean everything to me"
He looked up at me again, smiling a little. "Thank you"
I smiled back but he started crying.
"Oh my god, I have to get out of here"
I felt my own tears start to escape as he cried more.
"Please don't cry, gorgeous" I said.
"I miss you so much. I want to go home" he said, trying not to cry.
"I want you home, too. I couldn't sleep last night because you weren't there"
He let out a slight laugh. "My cell mate hates me 'cause I spend all night being miserable and hardly sleep. I dunno how I'm gonna do four years of this"
I sniffled. "We've been through worse than this. We just... We just have to be strong... Right?"
He nodded and I sniffled again. He put his hand back on the glass and I lined mine up again. All I wanted was to be able to hug him and tell him everything would be alright. Because it was breaking my heart to see him like this. The guard pulled him back and I felt the tears start to slip out again.
"Get the fuck off me, asshole"
The guard just glared at him, letting go.
"No it's not, I let you down. This is my fault and I don't have any way of making it better"
"You wouldn't be here if I'd stayed with you"
He shook his head. "I was the one that walked off, not you"
"I should've gone back inside with you"
He sighed. "That doesn't matter. I should've just said no to what I was offered and gone home like you said"
I sniffled again. Which was when the dick of a guard said our time was up.
"I love you so much, Kyle. I'm sorry I fucked up so bad"
"I love you too. Fuck, I miss you already" I said, on the verge of tears again.
Damien stood up and I watched as the guard handcuffed him. "Me too" he said with the sad face out.
I put my hand on the glass again, even though I knew Damien couldn’t.
"Same time next week, yeah?" he asked and I nodded. "Love you"
"Love you too" I said, crying as he was pretty much forced to move.
He glanced back at me and was forced to move again. I just stood there crying til he was out of sight.