I'm not dead.
At least, I don't think I am. I can't really tell, but I'm guessing that the fact I'm having one hell of a withdrawal right now proves otherwise.
Oh yeah, and the fact that the few times I've been conscious enough to see a nurse, she's not exactly been what you would call pretty.
Unless this is hell maybe?
"I wanna call Kyle," I mumble. I tell them that over and over, but they don't seem to be listening to me. According to them I'm delirious. Yeah, well that's generally what an overdose of heroin does to you. But it's not gonna stop me from wanting to call him. I mean c'mon, I come closer to a successful suicide attempt than I ever have before and suddenly he's telling me he hasn't actually left me?
"Christ, let the guy have a phone, then," one of the nurses says impatiently, apparently bored of my whining.
I giggle and tell them he's in the loony bin back home. They sort of fuck around for a while complaining about one thing or another for what feels like an age until finally they put the phone down next to me on loudspeaker.
"Hello?" Kyle's voice comes out of the handset and I nearly break down into tears just at that. Seriously, what's wrong with me?
"Hey," I mutter.
"How're you doing?"
"Well I'm not dead - or at least I don't think I am."
"Well unless you're a ghost," he chuckles a little bit, "I'm glad you're okay."
"I don't think ghosts have killer withdrawals like this," I kind of whine, wincing as another wave of nausea pulls at me.
"This is why you don't do drugs."
"This is why you don't let your mom cart you off somewhere you don't belong without telling me."
"They wouldn't let me call you."
"I think I remember you saying. I can't really remember so good though. I passed out after I called the ambulance." He doesn't say anything to that, and to be honest, I can't think of anything to add to it - I mean, I'm practically dying, but not dying here.
"I miss you," he says eventually.
"I miss you too."
"I'm gonna get back to you as soon as I can."
"Don't take too long with that, gorgeous. I don't think the nurses like me," I smile a tiny bit as one of them glances at me. I don't blame them for not liking me. They're probably thinking the same as what my dad would - "time wasting, good for nothing idiot."
"I'll do my best," he chuckles. I smile and hum, not entirely sure where I am or what I'm doing anymore. "I've got to go soon, gorgeous"
"Oh. Why?" I ask, feeling sort of dazed for some reason.
"They don't like me being on the phone for too long. I have Mom to blame for that," he explains grumpily.
"Oh," I mumble, not really getting it, "I wants cuddles," I whine, trying to ignore the nurse sort of hovering next to me, ready to snatch the phone back.
"So do I," he sighs.
"We'll get them soon, right?"
"Of course. I've got Campbell on the case," he gives me a little laugh that I can't seem to help mirroring.
"I love Campbell," I kind of giggle, realising I'm not really making much sense anymore, "he has really blue eyes and... and... I'm really sleepy."
"Go to sleep then, beautiful. Y'never know, I might be there by the time you wake up."
"Maybe," I hum. That's if I wake up at all. My luck's a bitch like that.
"I love you," he says.
"I love you too."
"See you soon," I let out a hum at that, too sleepy to talk much anymore. "Bye, gorgeous." The nurse has the phone back and away from me before I can even think about replying to that. Okay then. Someone remind me to have a bitch fit at her when I wake up.