The open relationship would probably work better if Phil wasn't so possessive. I guess I forgot how bad he could get. It seems like I'm spending more and more time with Phil and far less with Kyle. I'm not even sure if I mind, to be honest. Phil is the sort of support Kyle used to give me, and I know he can't help it that he's not capable of being there for me as much anymore, but I need this support. So I s'pose it's natural that I would spend more time with Phil anyways.
He's taken control of my drug use now too. Not in the way that that pimp guy controls Kyle's use, though. Just to make sure I don't OD and that I'm slowly using less over time, since I can't afford treatment at the hospital or rehab.
Kyle's half asleep on the couch when I go downstairs late in the morning.
"You alright there?" I ask, wondering if I should move him up to the bedroom so he can sleep properly.
"Wha?" he stirs a little. I repeat my question, and all I get out of him is an "mmm." Helpful.
"Want anything to eat?"
"Sure," he says, rubbing at his eyes. I nod, and make us both toast. He thanks me when I hand him his and starts eating. I join him on the couch exchanging a small smile with him as I dig in. When he's done eating, he puts his plate on the floor, stretching a little. "Phil still in bed?" I nod and he hums slightly. I dump my plate on top of his and flash him another small smile.
"I wanted some time with you. I don't see you as much anymore," I mutter, trying not to let him see that it upsets me.
"Might wanna speak to Phil about that," he mumbles.
"I know," I sigh, "sorry."
He gives me a weak smile, "S'okay." I cuddle up to him, wishing that it really was okay. It doesn't feel okay. He cuddles back and kisses my cheek, pulling a hum from me. I bury my head in his neck, hoping Phil stays asleep for a few more hours. I cuddle him a little tighter as he lets out a little sigh, trying to think of something to say. "I guess I deserve it, really." I unbury my head a little at that. What would make him say that?
"I didn't appreciate it enough when I had you to myself." I stay quiet. I haven't got a clue what to say to that. It's not like there was much to appreciate, just a dependant, desperate fuck up for a boyfriend. "So I guess this is like my punishment or something."
"Don't say that," I mumble, "I don't want you to feel like that." He doesn't say anything. "This isn't supposed to make you feel like that." I want to suggest that we quit with the open relationship thing, but some part of me rejects that idea. I give him a little kiss. "I love you," I remind him.
He returns the kiss, "I love you too."
"We should go out somewhere," I murmur, more voicing my thoughts aloud than anything else, "before Phil wakes up."
"I'd like that," he smiles. I sort of nod, pulling him up. The world can deal with the fact I'm only wearing baggy sweats and a scraggy shirt. He hugs my waist and I plant a kiss on his lips that he returns. I stop long enough to slip on a pair of sneakers and pretty much drag Kyle from the house.