"I dreamed you were dead," I whisper, not really wanting to mention that in the dream, I'd given in to his pleading with me to kill him.
He cuddles me, kissing my cheek, but all I can feel is how thin he's gotten. "It wasn't real, gorgeous."
"No, but it will be if you don't fucking eat something," I say quietly. He looks down.
"I can't. Every time I try I just end up puking it back up." He apologises when my sad face slips into place. I rest my head on his shoulder. "I really am trying, babe. I'm gonna get better. For you." I kiss his shoulder, mumbling a ‘thank you' and a quiet promise that I'll get better too. He smiles and we stay cuddled up on my bed like that until he sort of ends up half asleep. He wakes up at every noise, but it's better than nothing, right?
After a while, I lie down with him, hoping it might help, but he just wakes up a little bit again. I play with his hair, trying not to let my mind turn back to the dream. I look at him as he snuggles up to me more. He smiles and I give him a little one in return.
"You okay?" he asks sleepily?
"Yeah," I lie, "you?"
"Tired." I plant a little kiss on his lips.
"Get some sleep."
"I'm trying," he says and I cuddle him a little more, wishing I could help. "Everything keeps waking me up." He lets out a sigh, and I actually manage to think of a way to help.
"I could ask them to give you a private room?" I mean... there's all that money from the crack. And whatever's left in my savings account.
"It'll cost more."
"It'll be worth it. I can afford it anyways." He bites his lip. "I only sold half the crack I had," I shrug a little, "I've got five grand from that. I can afford it."
"I don't wanna cause a fuss." I don't say anything. It's not causing a fuss to me - so long as he at least gets some sleep, I don't care. "I don't wanna be on my own," he admits quietly.
"I'll stay with you," I promise, kissing his forehead when he clings to me. The moment he's asleep again, I quietly ask a nurse to move him into a private room, and thankfully, he doesn't wake up as we move him.
I settle down on the bed with him, ignoring the nurse telling me to go back to my bed. Campbell drops by as he finishes work to see how we're doing, but I wave him away, indicating for him to be quiet. He just smiles and leaves, nodding slightly. I had cravings all day, but after that dream, I couldn't make myself leave his side for longer than it took to run down the hall and pee.
By the time he wakes up, I'm well on my way to falling asleep. He opens his eyes a little, yawning. I don't really do anything - I'm kind of enjoying this half awake state. I'm aware of what's going on, and can't dream, but I feel like I'm resting. It's peaceful in here, away from the psychotics at my end of the ward. I wonder vaguely if I'd be allowed to move my bed in here with him.
I feel his hand tangling gently in my hair and I hum quietly, looking at him as he smiles. A faint blush colours his cheeks and I stroke my thumb over the pinkness, wondering why he was blushing. His cheeks flush a darker pink.
"What're you blushing for?" I mumble sleepily.
"Dunno." I smile. He smiles back and I manage to get one kiss in before I finally fall asleep.