I tried to get some sleep in while Damien was out but I just lay there hating myself. I’d cheated on him. The fucking love of my life and I cheated on him. I tried to be angry at the pervy guy but I mean, it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. My fault for being such a pussy and giving in at the mention of money. Was that really all me and Damien were worth? A thousand bucks? I curled into a ball, trying to resist the urge to puke again. There was nothing left for me to puke up. I scratched at my arm instead, wondering what was taking Damien so long. He’d been gone almost an hour now. I ignored the slight sting where I was scratching at my arm and cocooned myself in the comforter.
"You alright there?" I heard Damien ask eventually.
I glanced up at him, nodding slightly.
I shook my head and he lay down with me, cuddling my cocoon. I stayed where I was, scratching slightly at my arm til it was time to get ready for work. I had to improvise with the shirt since my work shirt had... Well, y’know. I went over to Damien, giving him a small kiss.
"I'll call you if I need picking up"
"Don't work too hard. Let me know if that creep needs me to have another... word with him"
I nodded and left, keeping my eyes on the ground as I walked to the grocery store. I didn’t deserve him. I was walking along, hating myself again when someone bumped into me.
“Sorry” I said quietly, not looking up.
"My bad. Oh, hey man"
"Hey" I said, still not looking up as I recognised Rayn’s voice.
"What's up with you?"
"Any one would think you and baby had a fight"
"Oh. No, I just feel a bit sick is all"
"Hope you feel better soon, mate" he said, looking kind of shifty, "see y'around"
"Um... Are you off to see Damien?" I asked as he started walking away. He nodded. "Try not to let him worry about me" Because I’m not worth it.
"I'll try" he smiled slightly and I thanked him, setting off on my way again.
I felt sick all over again when the pervy guy showed up at the diner. I almost threw up three times and Cindy was practically begging me to go home. “Jeez, if I didn’t know better I’d think that boyfriend of yours had got you pregnant” she’d laughed and I had to run off to the bathroom.
“You’re a pretty good fuck, y’know?” pervy guy said, pulling me onto his lap.
I didn’t care about getting fired. I kicked the fucker out for that.
I looked and felt like death by the time I got home. Cindy told me to call in sick the next day or she’d lock me out of the place. I trudged through the front door, hearing Damien shouting at someone. I arched an eyebrow when I saw it was Rayn being shouted at.
"Well what the fuck are you gonna do with it now? You can't just land me with it and expect me to sort it out for you" Damien shouted, looking stressed.
"Land you with what?" I asked.
"More crack than I can shift in this shithole of a town" he was still shouting.
Rayn stormed out, the same stressed look on his face. I shuffled into the kitchen, getting a glass of water.
"How was work?" Damien asked, leaning on the kitchen counter.
I shrugged and he arched an eyebrow.
"Nothing. Creepy dude behaving himself?"
"Kicked him out"
He smiled a little and I drank some more of my water.
"Get up to much?" I asked.
"Apart from being dumped with a load of crack? Not really. Just practicing the drumming for the session tomorrow"
"You feeling any better?"
He offered me a hug and I took it, wanting that safe feeling to wash over me again. He kissed the top of my head, making me hum. I let go of him after a couple minutes, shuffling off and getting changed into a baggy hoodie and my boxers. Damien was sat on the couch, half staring half scowling at the bag of crack. I curled up on the couch, resting my head in his lap. He played with my hair and I stayed there, not moving.
"I'll figure out what to do with it tomorrow" he said sort of to himself and looked at me, "bed?"
I nodded slightly and he carried me to bed, making me smile. He kissed me once were in bed and I kissed back, snuggling up to him. He planted kisses along my neck and I shut my eyes, instantly being reminded of the diner creep. He kissed along my jaw, sort of pausing when I didn’t really do anything. He planted a baby kiss on my lips and went back to just hugging me, closing his eyes.
"Why'd you stop?" I mumbled, already knowing the answer.
"You don't seem like you're in the mood for it"
I kissed his neck, ghosting kisses against his skin as he tilted his head. He hummed and I straddled him.
He looked up at me, smiling a little. "You don't have to if you're not in the mood"
I pressed a finger to his lips, smiling as he kissed it. He smiled back and I shifted my hips a little. His hands moved to my hips and I kissed him. He kissed back and I shuffled down, stripping him. He pulled out the innocent face and I looked at him. I seriously wasn’t in the mood. He sighed slightly, pulling me down for a cuddle.
"Forget it" he said, kissing me.
I kind of kissed back, a little put off by not wanting to fuck him. He seemed a little bit bothered by my lack of enthusiasm when I kissed him back and I buried my head in my pillow. He cuddled me and I cuddled back, listening to his breathing gradually slow as he fell asleep. Well, here’s to another sleepless night.