To say I was glad Kyle was back was an understatement. I’d been waiting with this nervous energy of excitement, tidying and baking and making sure everything was perfect for him coming home. I was a little disappointed he didn’t seem to notice, I’ll admit, but I put that down to the fact that he’d been in a car accident and was probably in too much pain to notice much at all and tried to ignore it.
Days passed and he didn’t really seem any different. He was just sort of... uninterested. In everything. I made him his favourite dinners and gave him blowjobs and made sure he wasn’t in any pain. My nightmares didn’t bother him anymore. Sure I’d still get a hug, but there was no comfort to be found in it. I was still essentially on my own. It was horrible. He was just an emotionless shell and I had no idea how to bring him back. I think the worst part was that I still managed to blame myself for all this. I’d gotten him fired, somehow, and then this had all happened so fast I didn’t know what day it was anymore.
Maybe a week or so after he came home, I’d had enough. I was trying not to wake him up at the same time as trying not to have a panic attack over my latest nightmare. I didn’t want him to pretend like he cared. That didn’t work out though, and before he could even properly get his arms around me, I shoved him off. Whether or not it hurt him was the furthest thing from my mind right then.
He arched an eyebrow at me, watching me cry. "There's no point hugging me if you don't even mean it," I told him.
“Suit yourself,” he said, looking at me when I sniffled.
"What's happened to you? It's like living with a robot," I sobbed.
"What d'you mean?"
"I mean you're like a shell. You hug me, but you don't care anymore," I said. He didn’t look like he understood what I meant. "You don't seem to care about anything,” my sobbing got even harder. What was the point? He wouldn’t care about this either. "I want the Kyle I married back, now."
"I do care. Of course I care."
"Do you? Then what've my nightmares been about?" I asked, my voice all accusing. The nightmares were rarely of daddy anymore, but more of Kyle abandoning me. They were hardly unreasonable nightmares given how he’d been acting lately.
"Uh..." I gave him a minute to think about it, but he didn’t manage to come up with anything.
"Exactly,” I said grumpily, my anger kinda drowned out by all the crying I was doing. "I'm sorry I got you fired, Kyle, and I'm sorry you reacted so badly that you've ended up like this, but I need you. I miss you.”
"I don't know what you want me to do."
Somehow, I ended up yelling. I barely even knew I was yelling at him, even though Scruffles was scurrying around in his cage, all alarmed and my fists had balled up. I really wanted to hit him. “I want you back, Kyle. You’re not the person I married anymore and I hate it. I don’t know what’s changed, but something has and it’s something in you.”
"I haven't changed, Rayn," he replied, not raising his voice.
“You have! How can you be so emotionless and think that you’ve not changed?” I on the other hand, was totally beyond anger, now. He just sort of shrugged, making himself wince. “You’re different and I hate it,” I shouted, scrambling out of the bed, “I hate you.”