I guess I didn’t like the fact that Kyle had started taking drugs again. It made me a hypocrite, but y’know. It was just... fuck it, I don’t know. All I knew was I didn’t like it and I felt bad that I didn’t like it when I was a junkie too. But I had him back, and that was all that mattered, even if he was being kinda weird.
It was hard, though, trying not to treat him like daddy. I didn’t mean to, I just found myself doing stuff for him when I wouldn’t usually. The only people I’ve ever been scared of are daddy and Matt before. And now I’m scared of him, so I’m treating him in the same way, even when I don’t mean to. I just sort of hope he doesn’t notice and go away again, because he’s not allowed to go away from me again. I’ve forgotten how to function without him.
Things were going okay, though. I was back to selling on drugs and making a decent profit, and Kyle had his job to go to and we were okay. Or at least, I thought that was how things were.
A few days later, I went to the restaurant to see Kyle in his break. And when I asked for him, I was told he wasn’t there.
“He got fired,” I was informed when I asked why he wasn’t there.
“He told me here was working today, though,” I replied, wondering if they’d gotten him muddled up with someone else.
“Well, he doesn’t work here anymore.”
“Oh,” I muttered, just sort of standing there, not entirely sure what to do with myself or how to process what I’d just found out. He’d lied to me? How long had he been lying for? “When was this?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
“About a week ago.” They went back to doing their job while I just stood there near the door, getting in people’s way until I turned around and left. Kyle had been fucking fired. Why didn’t he tell me?
Before I knew it, I’d spent all afternoon sat in the park, staring at the floor. I didn’t realise how fucking cold it was getting before someone spoke to me and scared the bejeezus out of me.
“Are you okay?” the voice that made me jump asked. I looked up at him, once my heart had stopped freaking out. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
I lit a cigarette with a small shrug, “s’okay.”
“Mind if I sit with you?”
“Sure,” I said, noticing how he kinda looked like Kyle but older. He had the same sort of face. He sat down on the climbing frame with me and I offered him a smoke, but he shook his head.
“I don’t smoke.” I put them away. “So are you okay?”
“I just found out my husband’s been fired and he didn’t tell me,” I mumbled, my gaze drifting to the ground.
“Sorry to hear that,” the stranger said.
“You don’t look like you’re from around here,” I said, trying to change the topic.
“I’m not,” he chuckled a little. I tilted my head a little, curious. “I’m trying to find my son.”
“Oh. Did he run away?”
“Not exactly. My ex-wife disowned him and he moved away for a fresh start,” he explained.
“Don’t you have his number or anything?” I asked, wondering how he didn’t know where his own son was.
He shook his head again, “even if I did, he wouldn’t speak to me.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I didn’t exactly stand up for him when we found out about his boyfriend.”
“Well there’s always time to fix that,” I smiled, feeling like I was missing something.
“Yeah, if I can find him,” he said.
I’m not sure what made me do it, but I felt like I should help the guy. I don’t usually trust people so easily, but helping him didn’t involve trusting him, right? “What’s his name?”
“Kyle Thomas,” he told me. I just sort of stared. I guess that was what I was missing. Was this guy really Kyle’s dad? “Do you know him?”
“I’m married to him,” I said bluntly. It was his turn to stare. “Guess that makes me your son in law then?”
“Yeah,” he muttered, still sort of just staring and to be honest I was too. Not often you meet your husband’s estranged father in the park having never met them before. “Well this is awkward,” he laughed slightly, and I nodded, blushing a little. My brain wasn’t coping with all this new information. Aside from that, I had the sudden urge to hide my arms and keep him from seeing all the track marks. I usually wouldn’t care, but I didn’t want him to find out his son was doing drugs and end up blaming me. “I’m Matthew, by the way,” I almost missed him introducing himself.
“Nice to meet you, Rayn.”
“You too,” I smiled a little, doing my best to find a way to stop him seeing the needle marks dotted across my arms.
“Do you know what happened with him and Damien?”
“Damien went to jail and they couldn’t cope so they broke up. He’s with Phil now.”
“Oh. Good for him,” he said with a smile that made me feel like I’d said too much and he didn’t care.
“We all used to be in a band a while ago, so I met Kyle through Damien.”
He sort of nodded, “is he off the drugs?”
“Yeah, he’s clean now,” I smiled, and Matthew matched it.
“You knew Damien then?”
“Yeah. I never had much to do with him, but he’s a nice enough guy. The ex wasn’t too keen on him, though,” he laughed.
“Was it the drugs or what’s between his legs?” I asked, joining in the laughter a little.
“A bit of both, really. She wasn’t exactly happy when she walked in on him and Kyle in bed.”
I giggled a bit at that, I couldn’t help it. “I can imagine.”
“It all started going downhill from there, I suppose. I never agreed with what she was doing, but y’know how it is, what the wife says goes.”
I shook my head a little. “I wouldn’t know,” I told him with an embarrassed half smile, “I’ve only ever been with Kyle.”
"Then you've dodged a bullet on that one," he said with a chuckle, but I didn’t understand.
“How?” I asked.
"It gets a bit boring saying "yes, dear" to everything your other half says." I think that was supposed to explain how I’d dodged a bullet, but I still didn’t get it. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, making my cheeks heat up and I looked at the ground. "How about we get out of the cold and go for a coffee or something?" I nodded and got up, waiting for him to make the choice of where we’d go for coffee.