I was welcomed home by a frown on Kyle’s face. Not a ‘Rayn, I’ve missed you so much, how was your day?’ No, I get a frown. I guess he noticed just how high I am, then.
“Rayn?” he asked, still frowning up at me from the couch. I went over and sat across his lap, wishing he wouldn’t be so concerned all the time and just cuddle me til I pass out. “You okay?”
“I’m very okay,” I said slowly, making sure I don’t slur my words.
"You don't sound it," he replied.
"I just had a bad day, but now I feel good and, and, and nothing can be bad when I'm with you." My head flopped onto his shoulder, not entirely on purpose. My body felt like jello and everything was kinda fuzzy and wobbly. But it was good, because I had my husband with me.
"What did you take and how much?" He kissed the top of my head and my lips spread out in a wide smile.
“Heroin. More than I’ve had for a while,” I mumbled. After the day I’d had, I felt like indulging myself, y’know?
“M’not silly,” I pouted.
“Why?” I looked up at him, the wide innocent eyes on. I didn’t want to tell him about Matt being the cause of all this, but I didn’t feel silly for falling back on what I’d always relied on after days like these. He shrugged.
“You’re my silly, though,” he told me and my whole face lit up. I smushed my nose against his shoulder in a nuzzle, making him smile.
“You are my...” I trailed off, trying to think of what he was, “my... amazing husband.”
"And you're my amazing husband," he smiled some more and I felt a contented smile of my own hold my lips in place as I snuggled up against his chest, almost curled up on his lap like that. I could feel my eyes closing like they had a life of their own and pretty much the second Kyle put his arms around me, I was out like a light.
The next day, Kyle wasn’t the only one who had a day off. Matt was also off and as I opened up, I made the most of knowing I wouldn’t have to deal with him tormenting me all day. I think the regulars were surprised to see me looking... well, like me, for once. Y’know, the happy, bubbly, friendly me. Not the miserable wreck that Matt creates every time I look at him.
Except that this is Matt and although he’ll have a day off work, he still makes the effort to turn up and upset me. Still, at least he waits til after I’ve finished work, I guess. I was walking home, all happy and sober and thinking that I’d managed to escape him for the day.
"Hey, gorgeous,” he greeted me with a smirk as I look around. As he strode over to me, I backed away from him, wishing I was capable of running as fast as I’d need to, to get away from him. "Going somewhere?" I nodded mutely. "Aren't you even gonna say hi?"
“Hi,” I squeaked quietly.
“Didn’t catch that.”
“Hi,” I repeated a little louder. He forced a kiss on me and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t get away from his lips. I waited it out, feeling kinda sick. He flashed me this evil looking smile as I looked up at him. His fingers tangled in my hair, playing with it as he spoke again.
"Y'know, I was thinking we could take our relationship to the next level today," he told me. I felt my pulse quicken a little with the fear those words gave me. “What do you think?”
“I dun wanna,” I mumbled, scared by the thought of what he meant.
"Why not? We're both adults," he said, like my refusal was totally unreasonable.
"What difference does that make?" I asked.
"Well this is what adults do when they love each other,” he said, sounding a little like he was explaining this all to a child.
"But we don't love each other.”
“Sure we do.” I shook my head a little, and his tone of voice darkened; “Yes we fucking do.” All I could do was whimper. It certainly didn’t feel anything remotely like love to me. "Now, I've booked us a nice hotel room so we better get going," he told me, his voice back to normal again. I tried to get away, then, not caring that I wasn’t capable of running fast enough. Just maybe someone would see and help me. He grabbed a hold of my wrist kinda tight, his grip painful as my skin twisted unnaturally.
“Ow,” I whispered, looking up into his uncaring face.
“C’mon,” he said coldly, ignoring all my struggling as he dragged me to this big fancy hotel. Not even the concierge or reception staff noticed as I tried to break free of his grip.
The second he threw me down on the bed, I was straight back up and heading for the door, making another break for freedom now that he wasn’t holding onto me. I heard him let out a sigh as I attempted to get the door open. It was locked, and guess who had the key. I hammered on the door, desperate. Maybe someone would walk by and hear, and they’d help me get out.
Matt wrapped his arms around me from behind, kissing my neck as I tried to calm down enough to think of a way out of this. He pulled me back to the bed and suddenly I was aware of the fact I’d started crying at some point. “Get off me,” I sobbed.
“Why should I?” he asked, still littering my neck with kisses that made my skin crawl.
"You've more than made up for what I did. Please just let me go." He ignored me, starting to undo the buttons on my shirt. I struggled, barely noticing as he slapped me.
“Stop struggling,” he demanded. He ended up pinning me down on the bed, keeping me firmly in place as I tried to wriggle out from underneath him.
"Y'know, I've just about had it with you," he told me as I looked up at him, "All you ever do is fight me and I'm getting sick of it."
“What’re you gonna do, then?”
“Why can’t you just let me go?” I whimpered.
"Because I'm bored.” I shut my eyes, wishing I was at home with Kyle. I could still feel tears leaking down my face, and Matt’s lips went back to their assault on my neck. He sucked up a bruise, making me shudder. He pulled my shirt off, despite my lack of cooperation. I was scared of what he’d do if I pissed him off any more, but I was hardly going to go along with it easily.
Apparently he was beyond caring; he planted kisses all down my belly, pulling down my pants and boxers in one move. I went to push him away or stop him, but before he even had the chance to care whether I was willing or not, I made myself stay still. I was too scared of what he might do if I tried to get away again. He stripped his own clothes off, and I closed my eyes again, trying to hide inside my own head as he pushed inside of me. It hurt. Oh god, it hurt.