I’m not the type of girl to date for no reason.
For me, having a committed relationship is not about having companionship for the time being. Realistically, I can get companionship without having to commit. What are some of the things people expect when they invest in a relationship?
- Someone to go out to have fun with.
- Someone to take to formal/couple events.
- Someone to hold their hand.
- Someone to make out with.
- Someone to cuddle with.
- Someone to call up and talk about nothing with.
- Someone for sexy-time activities.
That’s the list of things that are usually on our highlight list when it comes to a relationship. However, I don’t have to commit to tap into all these resources. I can find plenty of guys who will do many, if not all, of these things with me, and not once do I have to call them my boyfriend. Why is that? Simple. These things are great, but they are like the desert of a relationship. They are what we look most forward to, but they don’t actually nourish the core of the connection between two people. So then, what is our metaphorical main course?
- Acts of Service
- Learning and supporting each others’ passions and ambitions.
- Being a place where secrets can be told in confidence.
- Giving advice in times of need.
- Protecting your significant other mentally and physically.
- Finding a common value that you both hold that goes beyond physical things in the world.
The main course is the mental. The only person who I will call my boyfriend, who I will commit to, will be someone who can do more than just the superficial sweet things, and can really nourish my mind and soul. So yes, friends with benefits may get a bad rep for not working or belittling your value, but honestly, I view committing to someone who you are not willing to support with all your heart is a much worse offense.