This is a journal of random topics that I think about in my daily life. I'll write and add to this whenever I can, and you guys can comment on some of the topics I discuss. This is definitely more of a laid back work.
I once had a friend say to me, “You think like a guy.” Because this person was a guy himself, I took it as a compliment, in that situation, but what does it mean to think like a guy? In this case, he said it because there are two facets to my personality that struck him as what I’ll refer to as ‘male-categorized-thinking.’ Almost every time he and I had a conversation, I would talk about two things incessantly: food and sex.
Now let’s start off with stating the obvious. Everyone who is a living, breathing, human being needs food, and while we may not all have it on our minds all the time, we do all have it back there in our heads that at some point in the day, food must go into our mouths so that our stomachs don’t eat themselves. As for sex, except for special cases, such as asexual people, we all have a special place in our minds for sex. We think about having it, the last time we had it, the next time we’ll have it, if we should have it, who we want to have it with, and a whole laundry list of things related to it. It’s something we can’t avoid, and frankly, something some of us indulge in thinking about, as if it’s our daily bread. So, you could argue that I was being a normal human being, regardless of my gender.
However, it still holds true that people categorize these things as more of a male concern. Need examples? It’s more acceptable for men to stuff their face than women, and you’ll find that men capitalize on this easily. Men’s bodies tend to hold less fat than the female one, so extra calories are of little concern, especially if the man in question were an active person. Eating half a pizza in an hour is totally okay. The same goes for men and sex. It’s always the image of men chasing after women for sex in the media. Guys are depicted as having much more active sex drives than women when they are younger, and it’s accepted as a normal thing for them to think and talk about it frequently. Over all, I would say that gluttonous behavior is accepted as a normal part of male behavior, whereas females would be pressed to have more vain thoughts, such as concerning themselves with their appearance and the fiscal status if their partners.
I suppose I can see where my friend is coming from, but does that really mean that I think like a guy? I guess what I’m really getting around to here is that I think it takes more than a love for chicken quesadillas and sexy, shirtless college students to deem my thought process ‘male.’ I will not sit here and say I know everything about the male mind, but I will share some insight on how it appears to work, from the female perspective, and compare it to my own mind to see just how much like a guy I think.
1) Men are more straight thinking and choose to use logic over emotion.
I think we may have all heard this before, but women are some seriously emotional creatures. Their emotions are big factors in their decision making, and they tend to follow their intuition. Men will not do this. Let’s make a scenario:
Let’s say that you’re offered a full ride to the university of your dreams that you never thought you’d be accepted into. It’s got the perfect campus life, with a great curriculum for your major, and is in a gorgeous location. You want to go, but in doing so, you’re leaving behind all your friends, family, potential lovers, and all your familiar surroundings. Plus, if you go, you’re going to be gone without coming back for four whole years, for even a visit. You could still go to school close to home at a back up school that you’re feeling okay about, but you won’t have nearly as exhilarating an experience as you would at your dream school.
In this situation, women would resort to thinking about their feelings. They would question if they could stand to be away from home so long, if they could risk the relationships they have to make new ones, if they actually love their dream school as much as they think, among other things. If men even do pause to debate this, they will ponder which school will save them the most money in the long run, and give them the best experience and attention from employers. Men will only launch into an emotional debate if more serious things are involved such as a having a sick loved one that needs tending to, or a partner who they’ve fallen madly in love with.
For men, it’s not about what you’re feeling. It’s about choosing the most rational line of action. What’s going to “fix it?” As a woman I do still put my feelings into account for my decisions, but over the past few years I’ve adopted this rational thinking into my problem solving. Let’s face it folks, we can sit here and talk about how pissed it made me when you ate my cookie dough ice cream, when you know that I bought it just for me, and that it’s my favorite, but what does that solve? Instead of mean mugging you over my precious ice cream, let’s sit down for a minute or two, and come to agreement that we won’t eat each other’s favorite foods without asking first. It takes less time than having a deep conversation about it, and I can get back to my cookie dough goodness quickly.
2) Sex is always on the brain.
They say that sex is almost always on a guys mind. And you know, they’re correct. But women think about sex plenty, too. We’ve just been trained to not reveal that fact. If we refer back to the social order of men chasing after women, you can see that women don’t have to display their desire for sex. Men will come on their own, and then women can choose from their options who is worth their time. But girls are definitely still thinking about sex for a good part of their day. It’s a human desire, and women can’t get away from it – not that most of us want to anyway. Some women are more open about expressing their desires. Sexual innuendos, “that’s-what-she-said” jokes, and suggestive gestures aren’t just for guys. Girls have that type of sense of humor as well! And apparently guys love those types of girls.
3) Love is just as important to them.
So remember how I said men will choose logic over emotion? That rule applies everywhere else except for in love. There may be guys who act all cool as if they don’t have feelings, but guys fall in love just as hard as girls do, if not harder. Dudes may not tear up in public, but trust me, any emotions they aren’t doing for an audience, they’re doing in the privacy of their home. Or car. Or isolated alleyway. Anywhere where they can be alone to wallow in their feelings. Most guys won’t get emotional in front of other people, unless they are very close. Of course, this doesn’t span across the entire male populace, as I’m sure some of you know guys who will ball in the movie theater while watching Les Miserables without a speck of shame.
Guys are concerned about love, and will get just as hurt as girls do. They may not express it to preserve their masculinity, but it’s still there in their hearts. And guys will throw all logic out the window once they catch intense feelings for a girl. They become focused on finding ways to get closer to her and will consider some crazy things to win her over.
I think this is another place where guys and I line up. I refuse to cry in front of you. If I do, I obviously could not hold it in. It took forever for me to actually cry in front of my first boyfriend. I take love super seriously and I’m always aware of my emotions and his in relationships. And my fatal flaw is mimicking my love interests hobbies and interests. Oh, you watch MMA? I will look up a few fights on YouTube and find out names of some of the fighters just so I can bring it up later. Oh, you play this online game? I will play it for a couple days, and then make funny references to it with you the next time we talk. It’s sickening. But it works too.
In reality, there might not be a single way of thinking like a ‘guy’ or a ‘girl.’ We’re all really just thinking and experiencing things, and sometimes we agree upon our thoughts. Now, I shall go eat dark chocolate and harass my friend about his suspiciously sexual comment until he’s uncomfortable.