May 11th 2016: El ChupacabraMature

There was a signal that beamed from deep space. Having seen signs of a civilisation developing properly, some group far off deemed to send a test to the civilisation. A group of creatures who understand themselves as the upper crust of all entities that exist. You know--a common trait shared by most creatures out there.

The signal was beamed to the three most prominent civilisations of the Earth. No, it wasn't the Russians, French or Americans. Those goat farmers in their backwards hick cities who barely understood scientific development were not deamed high enough to get this signal. The three civilisations that got it were the Etherical Hebrews of Heaven's Zion, the Order of the Black Sun and Ether Mongols.

The Etherical Hebrews discarded the signal as it really didn't give them anything they really cared about. They had other ways to do what the signal told them. It was mostly just an annoying bit of help that wasn't needed.

The Ether Mongols didn't even notice it. Their Metallic Yurts spinning around with them mixing their various base urges. Deciding if they wanted to have sex with something, conquer something or watch something go boom really good. Which has always been the Ether Mongols greatest strength that has stopped their civilisation from ever collapsing. It doesn't work in a way that has collapsing being a true option.

The Order of the Black Sun however recieved the signal and accepted it quite well.


There were a team of archanists over a series of computer monitors in an overly clean space. Going over the signal they were just beamed. There were two specific parts of the signal. One that gave a solution to have an unlimited amount of energy. To have all world problems solved and no reason to struggle or be without.

The other half of the signal was a killer death monster of death to act as a war machine to conquer. To take all those who you'd struggle against and get all the resources.

One of the Archanists looking over the file comments in the local Portuguese, "I think they assume the only reason for conquest is based on doing without."

Another Archanist, also in Portuguese responds, "We will need to have two seperate camps to study both parts. The information on either seems to contradict the information on the other end."

They all hear a meth pipe light up--and an inhale. All the Archanists stand up and salute, "Heil Hitler."

A short chubby hairy thirteen year old, with a mustache on her upper lip. Her hair was in a pixie cut. Meth pipe in her hand, currently being taken in. Also speaking in Portuguese, but with a thick German Accent, "So... some kind of monstrouscity against the true ideal of the Aryan Image--and you are considering making it?"

"We were merely going over the signals related to it all."

"Those Ether Mongols are mocking the great image of the Aryan Nation. They have access to some toys we don't. We ultimately will be victorious... clearly these two toys will be beneficial to us all."

"The energy source is to remove the need to get supplies--to end strife."

"Oh... those fools, they think it is merely to garner supplies and support that causes war. No... I seek to wipe out all those foolish enough to appear similar to us. Who even look Aryan without being as pure as us."


Several craft from the Etherical Hebrews were watching Earth. One craft had several people onboard the deck. One starts a conversaion in Aramaic, "You know... it sucks watching this stuff, not being able to do anything about it."

Another answers the first, "Eeeeeh... they'd just attempt to kill us. You know, regardless of whether they believe us or not. Usually they won't even believe us."

"It is like watching idiot relatives be stupid--and having to not say anything about it. Just... for an entire planet we came from."

"Oh... hey... what is this the Order of the Black Sun is doing" one looking at the console mentions.

Another at the console replies, "isn't that signal that those helpful people beamed us recently?"

The first at the console replies, "Well, just about anybody seems to have gotten that information. What other goy did they send it to?"

The first one to talk speaks up, "well... we have to give some kind of message to the people of the world. You know--for that fighter part of the message."

The second at the console directs a reply at the first at the console, "hey, is your brother still doing fly by buzzing of that moving picture creator? The one with the unpure-not-goyim name?"

"That Spellbrag one? No--he had to stop. Got in trouble."

"Perhaps we could get one of those moving picture creators to make some kind of picture warning about that warrior part of the message?"

"Won't they not listen to it because of it?"

"Yeah... but they'll know how to handle it, should they need to handle it."


Waking from another fevered dream, "god dammit... they aren't happy that the new image of the Species. The other one didn't test well... it looked like some kind of mangled dog with small tits. I'm never going to be free of these nightmares. Also our concept artist is adament about making the creature some kind of penis. We already paid him too."

The man leaves the bed, "curse you focus testing! CURSE YOU!"

The End

0 comments about this exercise Feed