Well, I'm just chilling out at home, as a generic nondescript protagonist to a story to allow people to just self insert them in my place. My hair is a decent length that just barely covers my 32C cup breasts (it takes a lot of length to get that long). I have some nice hips, legs that go all the way up and make a huge ass of themselves. Also--my dick is pretty decent in size as well. Clearly a character that lacks any major descriptive traits to make people feel alienated, and enough traits for people to go, "Hells yeah! I could totally see myself in that role."
I'm like... a committee created character of awesome made by the council of awesome. Nothing else will really be given of my appearance, except for things that just further allow me to be a nondescript character that anybody could relate with.
I'm just chilling at my place, that only contains enough continuity to avoid getting people all in a hussy, and none that would have people annoyed. It was nice and tidy by my "House Slave Plant" that I had ordered via online shopping, but forgot I ever got. It was originally as a joke--like much of my Amazon wishlist. Somebody decided to pay for what was just me being silly and thinking about living the life. A way to get a House Slave Plant that could vaguely tie my story with other people's--but not necessarily do that.
The House Slave Plant brings me the mail... from the mail box in the lobby. I'm surprised that doesn't get complaints--but the girl is telepathic as all fuck... so yeah, maybe that is something to do with it.
One of them is another bill for the Gym Membership I signed up to for a few years ago. I joined the gym as a New Years resolution. Then I realised it was more just me trying to feel good about exercising without actually doing it. I never ended up making the Gym part of my life--but I keep getting these bills. I've been wanting to get rid of my membership for a while... but all the subtext and tiny text... I swear, this is a contract made by pure evil creatures.
"Wanda! Get me the red clothe and chalk!"
Cool factoid... Wanda is apparently the most common name for House Slave Plants. The other names given will put you onto watch lists... I freaking swear. What are those people's internet history giving the House Slave Plants those names. Actually... I don't want to know.
I pull down the red clothe and start drawing symbols on it in chalk. Today, is the day I finally cancel my Gym Membership. It was a new years resolution. From getting a membership to a Gym, to summoning the forces of evil to attempt to anull the membership to said Gym in five years. Well, in this case it was closer to seven--but I tend to procrastinate... but only in a comical way that makes me more relatable.
Wanda puts down thirteen white candles--and lights them, as I chant the required chant. Which appears to be a poem about a man from Nantucket translated into Latin.
Within moments a female big titted demon girl appears in the middle of the circle. Her skin was a nice red colour--her butt was big and fact. Big enough, she'd made Baalzebub turn to honesty. Her breasts were the unrealisticly large gravity defying boobs that seem to be the current fashion. They are just a fad--people will never get into those... people will eventually stop overlooking me.
She had a set of wings that seemed to come out of where a tramp stamp tattoo specially summoned them in and out of fire. You know--when having those wings would become inconvieniant. I've heard rumours that if these demons enjoy sex enough, they start to have issues controlling the tramp stamp tattoo deployment. Though--this is likely just sour grapes from people trying to explain why they'd not summon them. Not because they are worried about their control... or general ability to draw the symbols correctly.
She seemed to float above the ground anyways without the wings. Probably those antigravity giant S-Cup breasts holding her up outside of her control. They also seemed to phase from Q-Cup all the way up to Y-Cups like an animator seemed to not be working on any kind of size scale and is just drawing whatever size they feel is "large" on this character. I mean... further animation comparisons have me fairly certain her left breast and right breasts have switched places a couple times with the jiggling in her floating there...
For the ten minutes I've been drooling... god fucking dammit! I know this is going to be costing me on my phone bill later. I have no idea how the demons do it--but I've often suspected the telephone companies were in league with evil.
"Why hello there, cutie-pie. You've called upon Queen Xorgrazicha Ruler of the Zignzigacha Continent of Hell, the greatest power filled with the strongest leagions that make me Hell's greatest power!" the floating cartoon character stated--rolling every r and n in the sentence.
"Do... do they just create new continents of Hell for every Succubus and Lust Demon that is to be summoned?" I ask out of a somewhat new idle curiousity that just came up.
"No... we are typically encouraged to just make up a name with a high ranking and fill it with a lot of Zees, Exes, Gees and Cee-Etches. Call me Tiffany." She said, dropping the rolling of r and no as she stated this factoid.
"You... you are not going to get in trouble for revealing that, are you?"
"Well... how about it be our little secret as I convince you of my ability while I do my good work--"
I interrupt her by handing her my Gym Membership bill. "--Sweet mother of fuck... not another of these."
Before she can tell me it is a conflict of interest I chime up, "A Demoness of Wrath let away that the conflict of interest doesn't apply to Lust Demons... while going on a tyrade that would make a sailor blush about being summoned to deal with these... and various other standard contracts the modern day world tends to deal with."
That was such a charming girl--reminded me of Zooey Deschanel. Wouldn't mind having a drink with that Wrath Demoness finding out what makes her tick...
Oh wait, Lust Demoness is trying to use lust magic on me. "And... now I'm thinking of fucking that Wrath Demoness outloud." I idly announce for reasons I'm not certain about. Except that tell tale "outloud" part.
"You know, mind control doesn't count."
A flame appears out of no where above the Demoness and announces, "For training purposes your call is being monitored and recorded. This is to fully attain the highest quality in summoning Lust Demons. A true competitor to Succubus Ltd--thus indicating the sued about it being a Lawsuit is completely unnecessary. Not in anyway part of the same parent company. That would be ridiculous... oh right, for training purposes we are listening in, and not passive aggressively announcing any kind of difference that should just be implied anyways. Training purposes."
"Shit... I've had too many dings... and that completely not passive aggressive customer satisfaction announcement just showed up. Darn, I hate this lawsuit that we... er... our competitors are dealing with... is going through."
"I put forth the gym membership to her."
"Fine... if your greatest desire is to undo your hopeful past filled with bad self esteem... oh god dammit... if I was working for Succubus Ltd right now, this would be a conflict of interest. However... because of that stupid lawsuit."
She mostly grumbles and groans. She hits a few things with ink, pulls up parchment out of nowhere--it kind of is what I always imagined legal work would look like. Rather than the boring it is really is.
She whimpers, "I haven't had a single client that has been wanting sex for a month. It has all been these damned gym memberships--and various other user agreements. One person even wanted to know how to cancel Netflix. Did you even know that this is a problem with people? I still don't understand it. Another wanted proper comparison rates for telephone companies. I haven't gotten laid in like... three weeks. I was created from the flame of a smokeless fire designed to have lots of sex. To CRAVE LOTS OF SEX! Three weeks is like... three millenium for mortals."
I start to feel bad--to her, a creature created for the purpose of banging to have such a dry spell must have been terrible. Especially since it has to do with some charade the demons are playing with the legal system. We all know who the judge has in their back pocket anyways. It is going to end up not considering Succubus Ltd a monopoly. They are just doing this to pester with public image. You know--for the media circus involved.
Everybody knows this is how it will end--and that this is a farce. Well... no, actually people still watch Kyuubey News. Which was formerly Fox News, until some Kyuubey bought the company. Then proceeded to continue to announce the same news, all while visually stifling giggling. One time they accidentally had their day long hour loop just them laughing uncontrollably, while having the ticker on the bottom give news briefs. With commercials and clips cut to the same. Broken up by the Kyuubey Anchors laughing their asses off.
Yet... people still consider it a credible news source. That they are not just making it up, and fighting the liberal media agenda.
So... the notion people might agree with this farce. Well... considering Kyuubey News is announcing this lawsuit as the Bleeding Heart Liberal Feminist Homosexual Agenda stealing people's jobs--and using Lust Demons as a viable answer to Succubus Ltd. That is assuming they could finish the sentences without bursting out laughing.
"Well... I have been thinking of a few things. A few things that my House Slave Plant cannot seem to find herself comfortable enough to do."
I mean... being a literal cultivated submissive does limit what sort of sex acts I can do with the House Slave Plant. You know--because I do get lonely sometimes.
Tiffany immediately dons a black t-shirt with a libra symbol on it--and her hands go candy corn coloured. With red shoes appearing on her, and black pants. She has grey skin and black hair. Holding a cane. I end up wearing a black t-shirt with a scorpio symbol on it, a flannel jacket missing a sleave. My left arm is painted to look mechanical. I have grey skin, black hair, and seven pupils on my left eye. Also candy corn horns as well.
She looks at what is happening, "Seriously? Oh god dammit, what I have gotten myself into? You know what? The dry spell has been long enough, that I take this. I'll take this. But I'll have you know, that I'm not a piece of trash--and that ship is a pale one, not a flush one like where this fantasy is going. Not that I'm a fan of the series or anything."
Then we fricked... in cosplay.