Lazarus: ThinkingMature

My own snoring and the drop in temperature as the fire finally burnt out were the things that woke me up. It was the middle of the day, judging by the amount of light that was streaming in from outside through the open curtains. Ignoring the thumping and spinning in my head, I got up and tugged them shut with a grunt,

Stupid human,Bane grumbled inside my head, clearly enjoying the hangover as much as I was.You didn’t need to drink so much.

Shut up and help me find the painkillers,I growled back, stomping into the kitchen to look for them.

They’re in the bedroom, where you left them the other day, idiot.On the way to the bedroom, I hurled a few choice words around my head at him, wishing he would leave me alone. But that’s one of the problems of sharing a body; you can never get any privacy. My sex life died a death when I realised I wasn’t the only one able to see, hear and feel what I was doing.

I passed the rest of the afternoon waiting for the painkillers to kick in, drinking until I felt some semblance of normal and watching TV. I didn’t think I could handle a shower and eating was out of the question. And then someone knocked on the door. I whined. I could smell something cold coming from the front door and unless there were more vampires in town that I didn’t know about already, it could only mean that Melissa was there. I whined. I didn’t want to move. The room spins too much when I move. But she didn’t go anywhere, so I guessed I had to.

As I stood up, I managed to knock over my booze, and stand in my ashtray, and just about hold myself back from puking. Shaking off the cigarette ends, I shuffled over to the front door and pulled it open, squinting into the all too bright late afternoon sun.

"Morning," Melissa said.


"You're not as sober as I'd hoped." Yeah, I’m fine, thanks, how are you? Nice to see you too.

"S'too bright,” I said eventually, sloping back off to my sofa. It was comfy. And the living room was dark.

"I know, I'm not used to it either..." her voice dropped to a mumble, "though for slightly different reasons." I turned the TV off, not too sure why I was showing her so much courtesy after last night. She sat down on the sofa with me and I pulled my knees up to my chest, lighting a cigarette as I turned to face her.

"If you were human I'd make you stop that habit y'know."

"Just as well I'm not then,” I said. Because I sure as hell wouldn’t give up smoking as well as drinking. In fact, I’m barely even sure why I tried to stop drinking anymore. I was so attached to it. Alcohol was a three hundred year old comfort blanket and I had no idea why I’d tried to get rid of it.

She nodded. "Y'know I'm not sure why I'm here..." Well you’re gonna have a better idea of why you’re here than I do.

"To mock my failings as a partner? I did enough of that last night."

"Hmm, no, I think I wanted to see if you were okay..."

"I'm fine."

"I'm not stupid, you're not okay. Look, I'm sorry, I needed time yesterday, I wasn't me... well I was, just, I wasn't thinking straight." I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept my mouth shut and filled my lungs with smoke. "The fact I drove you into drink... well, I'm sorry."

"It doesn't exactly take much. Being halfway sober is enough."

“I suppose so.”

“So what’re you here for? Really? There’s gotta be something more than reminding me how much I hate myself,” I had to ask.

"That's it, I wanted to make sure you were okay... and that I didn't mean what I said yesterday... well, I was pissed you didn't help me, but, I didn't mean anything else.”

"What exactly did you not mean?"

"I don't want to stop seeing you."

"Sure that's a good idea?" I tried to keep the mocking tone on a leash, I really did. Okay, no I didn’t, that’s a lie, but I was in a bad mood. She ignored it anyway, and carried on. I wondered if that was a foreboding message about what our relationship might be like. I hoped not. I’m a fairly quiet person but I am not one to be ignored.

"If you were any other wolf, then no, I wouldn't be as sure as I am."

"Why me? What makes me so special?"

"You don't look down at me like the others do." I filled my lungs with smoke again, wondering what to say to that. I didn’t need to, though. "Look, it's your choice."

"I know it is," I muttered. I was well aware that it was my choice; I hardly needed someone reminding me.

"Do you want me to leave while you think it over?" I shrugged in response, pulling a sigh from her lips. She stood and bent over, kissing my head. I watched her. In that moment, I didn’t want to be left on my own. I felt Bane shiver inside of me, stretching and curling up around me. "I love you and Bane... just, remember that – please.” And with that she was gone. I grumbled to myself and moved my alcohol and ashtray over to the piano. I decide best when I don’t have to think at all. 

The End

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