I woke up to find Lazarus gone... my heart was beating quickly and if I could sweat, I would be. I had the worst dream ever. It was completely ridiculous, but, I needed Lazarus. I needed to know he was okay... where was he? I got up, throwing on the first dress I found and running outside in bare feet. I knocked on his door, but there was no answer, “Lazarus, Lazarus!” No answer... I couldn’t smell him, the whole place stunk of wolf and I couldn’t pinpoint him. No... After all this no, he couldn’t be gone.
I tried to stop my heart from almost bursting from my chest and the tears that were prickling behind my eyes, “Lazarus... no... Lazarus!” I screamed, almost on my knees, tears streaming down my face. I banged on his door, but there was still no answer. I wouldn’t believe my dream was true, I couldn’t believe I had lost him. I ran into the middle of the street, looking around desperately, still calling his name.
I saw him, in the distance running toward me... Oh praise... whoever he’s still there. My heart stopped then, but I was still stained in blood. I ran toward him, my arms wrapping around him as we met somewhat in the middle. I almost collapsed into his arms, my legs feeling like jelly as I tried to calm myself down, “Oh Thank God... I thought... I had the worst dream... where were you?" I looked up at him and he seemed a little sullen, but unharmed. I couldn’t smell blood on him and there were no visible signs.
His voice dropped to an almost audible mutter, "Sorry. I could smell the other wolves nearby; I wanted to make sure they weren't up to anything." All that because he wanted to make sure the other wolves weren’t up to something? I felt so stupid, he was a lycan, how could he not look after himself? Just because he wasn’t at home...
"I dreamt the hunters got you, then when I woke you weren't there and I checked your house but you weren't there either and I thought... I thought I was right and I didn't want no... I didn't think it could be true!" I was surprised if he caught anything because I was speaking so quickly, my words just tumbling out one after another, I couldn’t control them.
He gave me a small smile, "no, I've not seen the hunters for a while," I took a breath of relief, no hunters... good, no hunters no danger, no danger no death no loss no pain.
"When I couldn't find you...." I tried to explain, though I was pretty sure he already knew.
He kissed my head, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.” Oh Lazarus, it wasn’t you, really, the only responsibility you had in this was the fact that you were there and allowed me to fall for you.
"Oh, I should trust you can look after yourself.... I'm silly to think that just because you weren't home..." I put my head to his chest listening to his heart just to reassure myself he was still alive, which was ridiculous really. He ran his hand over my head and I sniffled slightly, “I look clingy,” I whined.
I shook my head, "You were with your own kind, I interrupted I'm so, so sorry," I squeezed him a little tighter and smiled.
"It doesn't matter," his reassurances did make me feel better and I kissed his chest through his t-shirt. "Let's go inside before you burn up," he murmured. I hadn’t noticed, but I’d instinctively brought my coat with me, the hood already up. I nodded and walked with him to my home where he led me back to my bed. I just sat down though, looking at him.
“I’m still sorry for being so stupid,” I mumbled, throwing my coat across the room.
He sat next to me, “seriously stop worrying about it.”
I shook my head, “I can’t expect you to stay with me when your own people are so close.” I couldn’t deprive him of running with a pack, that wouldn’t be right.
“They didn’t seem like the kind of people I’d wanna stay with.”
"Who'd wanna hang around with a leech like me?" I laughed, though it was short, never was one for laughing at myself.
"Me," he smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. Despite the fact we had met just now with me in floods of tears and now I was smiling happily... it’s strange.
"And I can't thank you enough," I moved to kissed his cheek and he moved, so my lips ended up gracing his lips instead. It didn’t faze me; I just kissed his lips a little more intensely than I would his cheek. His tongue snaked into my mouth and I met his kiss, only hoping that he wouldn’t grace my fangs as our tongues danced. He slipped his hands down to my waist and I hesitated a little, feeling a little self-conscious of the fact my face was stained with blood. I wrapped my arms around his neck, falling backwards onto the bed and pulling him with me. He chuckled and I looked at him strangely, “what?” He asked between kisses.
“Your chuckle...” I laughed, planting small kisses on his neck.
"I'm in bed on top of a beautiful woman.” Hehehe “This time last month, I would have said you were crazy if you told me I'd be here right now.”
I smiled, "I like to think I'm a miracle worker," I giggled.
"It's certainly a miracle,” he smiled, kissing down my neck and I turned my head away from him as I closed my eyes... heaven, seriously, something happened and I’ve been moved to heaven. Can I go to heaven? Not sure God forgives vampires... hmm. He eventually got my dress off as I stared at his chest, tracing the muscles with a finger. I blushed, it felt strange being naked after so long, "It's been a while since anyone got this far."
"Then I feel honoured," he kissed me, "though if you want to stop..." I shook my head, oh you can’t stop now!
"No... No, I trust you," I unclipped my bra and he kissed down my chest, I arched my back and moved to unbutton his trousers. He kicked them off and I grinned, running my hands round the band of his boxers. He groaned and I smiled.
“You tease,” he murmured as he stripped me of my underwear, the last piece of clothing I had on. But, surprisingly it made my blush die down as I lie there, looking up at him over me.
“It’s unfair,” I muttered, planting kisses on his chest, “I’ve seen you naked before,” I pulled down his boxers, smiling as I finally admired his fully naked form without having to look away.
He pulled me into the middle of the bed, "Apologies,” he murmured, though I didn’t believe him and I didn’t care. His eyes traced every inch of my body and my stomach went taught as I noticed him linger over certain spots. After a while I pulled our bodies closer together, our lips colliding again. He ground against me and I arched closer to him, moaning, “are you just gonna lay there and admire me then or..." I smirked and he looked back at me.
"I dunno. I was thinking about it." I groaned loudly in response, biting back a giggle as I watched him. He silenced me with a hard kiss and I met it, begging for him against his lips. He obliged, taking me in one swoop. I dug my heels into the bed and smiled... such loneliness after all these years abolished by one act. It made me feel human, it made me feel alive... it made me fall deeper.