Days went past since then, I couldn’t drown my sorrows in alcohol like Lazarus. I turned to the only thing I knew... lust and blood. These latest vampires of sparkling equivalency are bull. I am nothing like them, no, I accept my urges and my needs. I had one guy that was utterly enthralled by me, he walked up to me at the bar and he hasn’t gone home since. I admit now, I didn’t sleep with him, but he thought I did. Heck, if I did he certainly wouldn’t have forgotten it, but I still felt tied to Lazarus and I didn’t want to break that.
However, one night, I threw open the curtains in the room upstairs I used for entertaining... company and noticed Lazarus. I was naked, I did entertain him... but I didn’t sleep with him. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself, quickly running out to him. He was acting strange, murmuring something about ‘Anna’ I did not know who she was and I didn’t care. I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside my house, my man-whore still upstairs sleeping. “Lazarus, what happened to you?”
“What’re you doing? There’re things in houses that’ll hurt me.” I shook my head; he was or already had gone insane. I wondered if, once again, this was my doing.
"Not mine, I assure you,” but apparently, his nervous glances meant my word was not enough to convince him "I promise you," I took his hand and rubbed it soothingly. "What has happened... do you want a drink?"
"I stopped drinking." I was shocked, but thankful. Thankful to whatever deity waits up there.
"Is that why you're like this?" I did wonder, he was quite encapsulated within his alcohol, perhaps this lack of caused him to become so dazed, to wander the night through a fear of houses.
"Might be. Never tried to stop before." I didn’t move to get him one, there was the chance this wasn’t down to alcohol and I didn’t want him slipping back into his addiction.
Ja... Ju... the man I was keeping around for blood came downstairs and I ordered him to leave. One look into my eyes and he did not object. I turned my attention back to Lazarus, "Well, I'm glad you have."
He looked over at my whore as he left: "Who's that?"
"You can drink, as can I. Unfortunately mine comes in a more... mobile bottle." I was thinking intelligent, but then that would not be true. In fact I do believe I might’ve found the stupidest human around. He did not seem convinced that the man meant nothing to him. "I did not sleep with him, I assure you. I gave myself to you and that word I will not break." He was quiet and I kissed his clammy hands. What has made you like this? "I did not mean for you to fall like this."
"Fall? M'not... M'not falling," he was terrified, I could see it in his eyes. My pup was afraid.
I smiled, "I still love you."
"Am I hallucinating again?"
"No, I would pinch you if you'd like," I laughed slightly, but, this was not the time or place I think.
"I keep seeing stuff,” he whispered quietly... oh my dear wolf... my poor wolf, is this what I have left you to?
He shrugged, "My sister, someone I loved once, people I've killed, creatures coming to get me."
"I'll fight off any creature that comes to take you," I growled faking the bravery. I would gladly through myself before any creature that tries to kidnap him; however, I would probably not be able to fight them off.
"Things I try to forget come back to me in my sleep. You think you're a monster but you're nothing, not compared to me."
"Hush, do not think like that, Lazarus, don't." I know, I’m a hypocrite but I would protect Lazarus with everything, seeing him now I knew that. I knew that I had found a purpose for which if I lost would mean I would not need t0 live anymore.
"Bane's been whining about a headache," I wrapped my arms around him as best I could, smiling as he rested his head on my shoulder, "Make him shut up."
"I can't, I don't think he quite listens to me," I kissed his head and winced at his whimper making me squeeze him a little tighter, "I'm here..." I soothed.
"I need a drink. I can't do this anymore,” no, no, you can’t give up now!
"Lazarus, you have to be strong."
"I feel like I'm dying."
"Not while I'm here." He whimpered again and I sighed, "Just do me one thing."
"Don't ever think I'd abandon you."
I adjust my towel and pulled it tighter, "Thank you."
“I need a drink,” he showed me puppy dog eyes and I sighed, just looking back at him, “please, I can’t do this cold turkey shit.” I pulled away slowly, going to get a bottle of whiskey and glass from the kitchen. I poured him one and watched him down it, though he was a little shaky. I kept my hand on the bottle. He put the glass down and buried his face in his hands.
I took my hand away from the bottle, looking at him with a sullen stare. “I wish I could help you.”
“You can. Gimme the bottle,” his voice was edged in something I didn’t quite like. I shook my head firmly.
“No,” I believed that would not help him and I didn’t want him to fall onto his dependency on the substance. I wanted him to depend on me. He whined but that didn’t bother me anymore I needed to be firm with him, he had the one drink he wanted, he would have no more. "I would give you anything right now, do anything right now. But I don't believe that by giving you the bottle you'll get better." Now I sort of guessed why he was drinking... was it Bane? Was Bane bothering so much he had to drown the wolf out?
“You’re not,” I was concerned he kept saying that but I didn’t believe it anymore, I heard his heart beating fine.
I heard Bane, then, in my head and I thought it was only when he was in wolf form he’d be bugging me, "please, this human is destroying himself and I have to suffer with him, just give him the bottle, it'll ease the headache.” You are the headache.
"I don't think you're making it any better for him! I don't want him to be dependent on alcohol to make everything go away; I want him to trust me."
"Well painkillers haven't exactly worked miracles. He took about three packets and it didn't do a thing."
"You're the headache! You're always bothered about yourself, for once just shut up and let him think!"
Lazarus growled, "Stop arguing"
"Sorry." He curled up on the sofa and I smiled, "Wanna sleep in my bed? I've just slept so I'll watch over you..."
“Come with me,” he gave those cute little puppy dog eyes and I nodded, grabbing his hand as I led him to the bed, he clambered on after stripping to his boxers and I pulled up a chair beside the bed, watching him. “You’ll make sure nothing gets me?”
“Absolutely nothing.” He cuddled up to a pillow and I sighed, climbing up into bed with him. Hugging a pillow is no constitute. He cuddled up to me and smiled. No, nothing will get you here.