A new violin.
My old one had an inscription on it... I don’t remember what it said, but it meant so much to me! I didn’t even care that Lazarus probably thought I was the one that was trying to get into his pants, I wanted my violin back, it was expensive in value but to me it was priceless. I guess, at least now I had something from Lazarus, though, if everything went well enough I wouldn’t need something to remember him by. The flowers upstairs would last a little longer than usual due to my blood, so, Lazarus had no reason to buy me more presents. I don’t mind being doted on, not too much so that I feel like a, eugh, leech.
“Will you stay tonight?” I realised that somewhere between my sleeps it had become night time in which I was sleeping now, which felt just strange. He nodded and I tilted my head slightly, his response seemed a little flat to me, “are you okay?”
He smiled, “yeah,” I looked at him and smiled too before crawling into my bed, still in my dress for a lack of wanting to embarrass him. Clearly, however, Lazarus didn’t have the same reservations. He stripped down to his boxers and slipped in beside me. I laughed to myself and shimmied out of my dress, throwing it out of the bed. He smiled to me and I grinned back, laying my head on his chest while my finger traced over his stomach muscles with a gleeful giggle. He played with my hair and I settled down soon enough, getting over the initial shock of being half-naked in bed with a man. Eventually, his soothing heart sent me to sleep and I found myself drifting away with a smile; when I woke Lazarus was still sleeping.
He looked ethereal as he slept, literally (excuse the cliché) like an angel fallen from heaven. I know, usually that’s meant to describe women, but he his hair and eyes were the colour of an angel’s... I couldn’t stress anymore about how amazingly his body was sculpted; he also looked peaceful, somewhat... he actually looked a little troubled too as I watched him twitch slightly as if he was having some sort of nightmare. I stroked his face softly, causing his face to twitch. It got worse as I stayed back and watched, then his arms flung around me, holding on as if for dear life, as if he was falling and trying to grab anything to hold onto. “Lazarus... Lazarus please wake up.” His eyes snapped open, his breathing radical, "Lazarus...”
“Hmm?” He looked around, confused, as if he’d forgotten where he was.
"It's okay; you're safe with me..."
"Why? What's going on?" Now it was my turn to be confused, how could he not know?
"You were all over the place, you ended up... you still are clinging quite tightly to me, are you okay?"
He realised and let go and I sighed "Sorry. Just a dream I’ve had for... ever"
I stroked his cheek again, "Wanna talk about it?"
"Not much to say. I fall."
I held him close again, realising then just how small I was compared to him. I was weak; no muscle, small, thin... the exact opposite to Lazarus. "I have a dream too, haunting from... years and years ago." He shot me a questioning look and I sighed, "A fire... a fire that destroyed my home and father. I regret it, even though, I started it... not quite the same, I realise."
"Sounds worse than falling," he murmured and I nodded slightly.
"It's more complicated."
He nodded, "Well, either way, don't worry about my dreams,” he gave me a small smile, but this time, I couldn’t quite smile back, "it's always the same thing."
"So long as it bothers you, I will worry," I laughed in my head, how soppy I sounded, how soft and weak... I didn’t care though, not toward him, I wanted him to know I was always, always there for him.
"It doesn't really,” I looked at him with one eyebrow slightly raised, I didn’t quite believe him, how tightly he’d held me and how much he’d shook beside me. He simply smiled, “don’t worry yourself over it, honestly.” I shook my head, still not agreeing to not worry over him.
“At least you’ll always have me to hold,” I kissed his cheek, “should you need me.” He thanked me with yet another smile and I laughed slightly: “Don’t worry about it,” I barely finished my sentence when his lips caught mine and I had to catch my thoughts before kissing him back. Damn his spontaneity. As he pulled back his arms wound back round me again, pulling me close to his –extremely warm – body. I smiled then, as I realised just where I was and how safe I felt. “My guardian wolf,” I whispered, relaxing that I would never have to fight every feeling I felt, that I didn’t have to be a monster anymore, in fact, as we lay there I realised – I actually may just love this creature.