“Dear me, I hold the greatest respect for you, but now I know you’ll be happy. I’ve replaced the violin inscribed by Lazarus, taken your wedding ring and hidden that too. You won’t find them. You will remember last night, you will live on happy if you move to keep him. Hopefully, we can make this one work again; I’m off now to destroy our memories... as I fade away this will be my last memory to you, the last thing to be deleted. Good bye, Melissa...”
I knocked sheepishly on Lazarus’ door. I wanted this to go further, but, I didn’t want to jump on the man when he opened the door. I stood and dusted myself off, straightening my dress while I waited rather impatiently for him to answer. I pondered over whether I would hug him when he opened the door, or if I would simply shake his hand but as he opened the door I settled on kissing his cheek: “Good evening.”
He smiled, “Hello, I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon,” well, by not wanting to seem needy I never would’ve turned up on three nights in a row, though, the second time was a coincidence, or fate.
"I don't have anything else to do in the evening and, this is gonna sound stupid, I couldn't stop thinking about you, must be because I've had no company for a while,” I explained, but I knew that was a lie, not a complete lie, but a warping of the truth.
"Or because I'm irresistible,” he chuckled as he let me in, I wasn’t sure if that was what he actually thought, or if it was a lucky guess; it was right anyhow.
"Well, there might be that too,” I nodded.
"So how can I entertain you this evening?"
"Could I listen to you play... again?" I smiled at him and he led me up to the music room after nodding.
"Anything in particular you want to hear?" He sat down at his piano stool and I took my seat beside him, shaking my head, he began playing, his fingers gracing swiftly and easily over the keys, the music taking over him as the song enveloped our ears. But, I didn’t recognise the piece, I was quite well accustomed to classical music and I would’ve recognised the piece. I figured that it was a piece he created himself.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered, my voice soft so as not to disturb him, “truly wonderful...” I looked up from his hands to his face, his light blonde hair framing his face slightly as he played. I could just see the twinkle in his blue eyes as he blushed.
“Thanks, it’s a pretty old piece.”
I shook my head, “It’s perfect.”
He smiled, his modesty shining through; “I’ve been revising it over a few years I s’pose.” I rested my head on his shoulder and listened as he played a few more pieces. I waited until he finished his third piece and I placed my hand on his.
“Lazarus, may I be bold enough to... ask you for something?”
I blushed, taking a minute to think it through before I took a breath and asked: “A kiss.” He looked at me as if I had asked him for all the riches in the world, but obliged as I hesitantly placed my lips upon his and he kissed me back sending electric shivers down my spine, after a little while longer I pulled away and laughed to myself, “It must’ve been the music, I’m sorry... such a strange request.”
“I’ve been asked for stranger things,” he asked with a smile but I was too busy contemplating what had just transpired.
“I...enjoyed it,” I stated, feeling rather foolish for doing so.
“I’m glad,” his voice was soothing, warm, but I still sat playing with my hands nervously as I was still uncomfortable slightly.
He noticed and looked down at my hands, “Why’re you so nervous?”
"Oh, I'm not sure. It's been three nights, this being the third, yet I feel strange. Like, I want more, but it's ridiculous and I can't possibly ask. That's all." I understood that it was such a short period of time but I couldn’t rationally explain how I was feeling; “Love at first sight?” Not sure.
He nodded, “I don’t want to make things awkward.”
I shook my head, “It’s just me, honestly.” He kissed my cheek and caused my smile to grow wider and him to smile in return. “I wish I could listen to you play forever,” his pieces were truly something wonderful; oh I wish you could’ve heard them.
“I’d probably play forever if I didn’t have to sleep or eat,” I laughed slightly.
“No other things you need?” Yes, it did seem suggestive and yes, that’s what I’m suggesting.
"Something to drink, I guess,” he glanced at the bottle of whiskey and glass on the piano, that I hadn’t even noticed stood there.
I giggled, pushing him playfully, "not what I was originally think I will admit." He smiled and I couldn’t help the yawn that pushed through my lips at that moment. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just so tired; I didn’t get much sleep yesterday. You kept me up, everything about you my wolven angel.
“There’s a spare room here if you need to sleep.”
“Here? I couldn’t...”
“Why not?” A good question indeed.
“I don’t know...” I thought for a little moment, “Will you lie with me a little while?”
“If you want me to,” he murmured as I stood and followed him to the guest room where I laid down on the large white bed, he joined me and I kissed his cheek, taking his hand in mine and almost laughing at how large they were. He already towered over me, I felt so fragile next to him, yet safe.
“Good evening, Lazarus,” I smiled at him as I pulled the covers around me and I fell asleep to him smiling back, oh those perfect eyes. I got what was happening here, I’m falling deeply, and yet, I enjoyed it.
The fires lapped up the brick walls, lighting up my dream in a sea of orange. I woke up with a start, tears streaming down my face in pools of red that stained his white pillows. Oh dear, a downside to being a vampire. Bloody tears. I looked over to Lazarus sat in the corner of the room with a drink in his hand. He looked up as I moved out of the bed, asking affectionately: “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and wiped away the tears as best I could, “Nothing... I should go,” I looked back at the bloody pillow and sighed, “I’ll pay for some new bedding,” I was already leaving the room when he got up.
“S’fine.” I turned and thanked him, curtseying before heading down the stairs. “You don’t have to go,” he called, following me down.
“I do,” I didn’t turn as I talked to him, waiting at the front door.
“What for? Is there anything I can do?”
I shook my head, “No, I don’t think so.”
“Well let me know if there is,” I nodded and swiftly left his house literally sprinting over to my own where I dived into my bed and cried some more. Maybe I should’ve stayed with Lazarus; maybe he would’ve been able to protect me. I only wish someone could.
I found myself walking into the bar the next night, so as to avoid Lazarus I would’ve gone to a different bar, had there even been one. I wanted to bury my sorrows in the neck of some guy I didn’t even know. I only had the nightmare about once a month, but, it was usually accompanied by a long drink drive. I hoped he would’ve chosen to stay at home, but I had picked up on the fact that he liked to drink. I was wrong. Of course I was I always am. I hid behind a random guy, shuffling behind him as he approached the bar where I slipped into a stool about two down from Lazarus, my hood up as I ordered my drink.
He swayed slightly in his seat and had his face close to the guy beside him... huh, must be bi. That didn’t bother me, the fact that he was flirting with someone however, did. I watched him for a while, my eyes gleamed a brighter green in my rage. I waited patiently for the woman beside me to accept the guy’s invitation to dance and I moved up, next to the guy that he was flirting with. He was whispering things to him and I sighed. It was his choice, we weren’t going out, but I was still jealous, I hated myself for running out on him but I was glad he was enjoying himself... I think, I couldn’t tell from the alcoholic glaze that took over his face. I slipped my hood off and ordered myself a drink.
But, then I kind of snapped, my thoughts of ‘at least he’s happy,’ dissolved into the thick air around us. I stood watching as they kissed, moving next to them with a scowl; slowly, I lifted my drink and tipped it over the top of their heads, “Oh cool off!” They should be glad I hadn’t bought the whole bottle. To say I actually thought he was a gentleman, that he cared about me: that mustn’t of been true, no, he was trying to smooth talk his way into my pants and when I stormed off he thought he’d lost his chance and moved on.
The funny thing about it, actually, was Lazarus turned round and asked me what it was for. I snarled at him and slammed the glass on the bar making the stem shatter and the cup smash. “Take a guess!” I tried to turn and walk away but he caught my wrist. I was angry, but, as he turned me I was laughing inside at the guy next to him’s face. He looked at himself in shock, but I was too busy glaring at Lazarus, that bastard! That son of a bitch! I was upset, I walked out on him and I get that. So what? He goes and picks up the guy at the bar? That’s not a guy I want. Not a guy I want to be associated with at all. I was foolish enough to actually get a crush on him, yeah, childish I know but I did. It wasn’t love I don’t think, I don’t know, I admired him and he looked gorgeous but I also liked his personality... it was like a teenage crush.
"What's wrong with you? We're not together; we barely know each other," however, my crush was not something I was going to admit to him, not here, not now and not in these circumstances.
"Then why are you holding me here now?" I glanced at my wrist, then back at him, trying not to break my fiery stare again.
"Because I don't think I deserved having a drink tipped over me without some kind of explanation." He wants an explanation, that’s rich.
"I walk out on you upset, you realise you won't be getting into my pants without at least some emotion,” I could hear my voice breaking, “so you come here to throw yourself on someone easier." I shrugged, the night after my dream was not a night for a fight, I would either break down in tears or tear someone’s throat out, neither were options. "Now let me go!" My voice wavered as I began to sniffle back tears and I cursed myself.
He got up, his voice harsh and strong and I must say he made me jump; he had switched so easily and became so fierce... I never even imagined he had this side to him. "Fucking hell, you make it sound like a soap opera" He pulled my arm, dragging me outside where he eventually let go, his voice calm again, “Now calm down."
"How dare you drag me out here like a little kid?!" I snapped.
"You were drawing too much attention,” he explained but I was still glaring at him, though I had calmed down by now, my anger dissipated leaving only sorrow behind. "I wasn't hooking up with someone else because I couldn't get into your pants,” he frowned, “if we're not courting, I see no reason why I should abstain."
Courting, I hadn’t heard that phrase in forever, were we? I was falling for him, I knew that, but were we courting? Should we be? I shook my head: “Look, I’m sorry, I’m upset and I’m a mess and seeing you just... tipped the boat a little too much.”
“I apologise.” Huh? Why are you apologising to me you silly creature.
"No, no you're right. You're free to do as you like, I was rash and let my emotions get the best of me." I began to walk away, get home, got to sleep, think of something else to occupy my time.
I could hear his footsteps a little behind me, "I really am sorry. I didn't think it'd upset you."
I shook my head, "you don't need to think if it'd upset me, it's got nothing to do with me."
"Well, I can't leave you upset like this. How can I make it up to you?” I shrugged, I don’t know, I’ve never had anyone follow me like this before. “What will cheer you up again?”
"Usually I just sleep it all away for a week or so."
"Let me know if I can do anything?"
I gave up, stopped and turned to face him, "I don't know," I sighed, "Lazarus, I don't know,” I whined.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he muttered and I nodded.
“I know,” It only came to me how he felt when I said that, it was like a revelation. He was quiet and I caressed his cheek, “Don’t worry about me.”
“I will anyway.”
I smiled, shaking my head slightly, “silly creature,” he smiled back and I kissed his cheek. “Go on. Go back to him, I don’t mind.”
"He'll probably have moved on to someone else by now,” he laughed slightly.
"Well, I'm going home, so... I'll see you sometime, I guess,” I just needed to sleep; I’d tackle Lazarus some other time. I felt a little bad leaving him there, but I’d rather walk away than snap and do something I’d regret. He nodded and I gracefully walked off, trying not to turn round and look at him. Just a little rest.