Marcus Boidenghimer

January 10

Dear Journal,

I blew it. I finally blew it. Maybe Alice was right and I should have never even talked to her in the first place, but I couldn't resist. Now look at what I did. Yesterday I broke up with Ellen.

You know all those other stupid times when I thought it wasn't love and it would just be better to break up? Well, I was wrong. I broke up with her, and now I miss her more than ever. Right after we broke up I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

She didn't even cry, you know that? She just looked at me with a blank face and said "OK", as if she was expecting it to happen from the very beginning. I really don't know why I even thought I didn't love her. And now she's in a hospital. Man, she hates hospitals! They won't let me see her, or Alice, even though they say they aren't in grave condition. How am I supposed to tell her I'm sorry? I know I lost her this time.

Did you know she was the whole reason why I started writing a journal anyway? I didn't think so.

- Marcus

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