Natalia was so amazing, yet so confusing all at once. I hated myself for becoming so interested in another girl so quickly, especially having loved Angelina so much. Unless I hadn't loved her. You were in love with the idea of loving her. I hated my own thoughts, and yet here I was. Falling in love, or at least on the brink of it, with a girl I barely knew.
I knew that she was different.
"I'm really sorry about you and Angelina." she said, with real emotion in her voice. She was either genuinely sorry, or she was a very good actress. Although I had pondered how I would reply, I instead heard myself say,
"Thank you. "As much as I hate to admit it, I really think it's over. We can't go back to how it was after this." Although her expression changed in the most subtle of ways, I could see that she didn't know how to react.
"Sooo...." she began, choosing her words carefully, "what are you doing when you leave Liz?" She then shook her head and admitted, "I was trying to change the subject; it didn't turn out at smoothly as it did in my head, sorry." I laughed, and replied,
"You're funny. At least you're honest."
Without quite meaning to, the word 'honest' slipped out covered in poison, as I remembered Angelina's face as she said his name. Natalia listened intently, before I answered her question in an effort to advance the conversation beyond my moaning and misery.
"I'm going to St. Christopher's. I hope to go on to take Drama at Uni, so most of my A-levels are based around that." Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets.
"I'm going to St. Christopher's," she told me, and I smiled helplessly, "This is gonna sound weird, but I also want to do Drama. I want to be on the West End when I'm older."
So she had been acting, that didn't surprise me. She was good, I had to admit, she had me fooled for a second when she apologised about the mess I was in. I suddenly remembered how to speak.
"That sounds cool. Wow, we're going to the same school... I thought I was going to be on my own, that pretty much everyone else was going to King's..."
"Yeah, that's why I wanted to go to St. Christopher's!" she replied, excitedly.
"I hope I'm not disappointing you, seeing as you'll not be alone now."
"God, no. This is great news, I'm really happy we're going to the same school!" I laughed at her enthusisiam, and she raised one eyebrow questioningly.
How does anyone do that anyway? Unfortunately, I spoke my thoughts, "How do you do that?"
"That eyebrow thing!" It was an ability that I envied. She answered my question.
"I don't know. I just think about it and it happens?"
"That's so cool..." I really meant it.
"It really isn't. There isn't a cool bone in my body." She laughed and, before I could think about what I was saying, my mouth ran away with me,
"I think you're cool."
"You're just saying that." she replied, and I kept going,
"No I'm not. You're so different from everyone else."
"Nice. What a way to compliment a girl..." she said, half jokingly. Afraid I had hurt her, and wanting to correct my mistake, I said what was on my mind, beyond caring about what anyone else would think,
"I didn't mean it like that. You're smart, and kind. You're certainly more caring and considerate than other people. And on top of all that, you're beautiful, so you've got the whole package going on." As I spoke, I smiled subconsciously, unable to control myself. I worried about how she would respond to this sudden wave of compliments. I really didn't want to seem desperate.
"You're not so bad yourself."
Thank God, I thought, she doesn't think I'm crazy. Crisis averted. I thought I would continue our relaxed conversation with a few jokes. I prayed that she had a better sense of humour than I had comic delivery,
"You wanna hear a joke?"
"Try me," she replied, and I continued, with the only joke I could think of,
"Ok, what's the difference between two guys, a really skinny one with short legs, and a really, really fat guy, running a race?"
She shrugged and said,
"I don't know, what's the difference between them?" I prepared myself for the punchline,
"Well, one's running in short bursts, the other's running in burst shorts!" Natalia gave me a weird look, before laughing a little. It was better than nothing. I sat a little closer to her as she said,
"Ok, I got one..."