"What about this one?" Ella asked me, a worried face etched upon her face. I supressed my sigh. She looked good in everything, with her small frame and nicely proportioned boobs. She was wearing one of those bandeau dresses; something that I would never look good in.
"Ella, you look frickin' beautiful, now can I go look for something?" I asked impatiently. A look of horror flashed an her pretty face.
"But... What if I need you?"
"I'm just gonna be in the shop, then come back with some stuff, for God's sake!" I glanced at my watch. 1:15. I was absolutely starving, but still needed to find a dress. I waved at Ella as I left the changing rooms. The shop was pretty big, there was some crap like jumpsuits and harem pants, but it was one of those shops that you can usually find at least one thing you like in. My mind whirred as I looked at colours, and felt fabric. Red. Wool. Mauve. Silk. Teal. Cotton.
My eyes found exactly what I was looking for. It was a knee length purple dress, with bits of black lace at seemingly random parts. A bit on a hip, a bit at the top, a bit across the waist. Gleaming round, silver studs were artistically sewn onto the lace. Perfect. I looked for my size and retraced my steps to the changing room, to try it on.
"Let me seeeeeee!!" Ella said, impatient. I pulled the zip, adjusted myself and opened the curtain. Ella gasped, then squealed. "Perfect, perfect PERFECT! He's bound to fall head over heels in love with you in that!" I turned to look in the changing room mirror (something I rarely did as I hated how it distorted my body). I, too, gasped. It really was perfect. It hugged in the right places, and elegantly fell over my hips, not tight but not loose. I ran my hands up my body, feeling remarkably confident for once.
"Who knows, El?" I said, thinking again (a dangerous habit of mine). I set myself boundaries. I wouldn't get my hopes up, in dreaming of a relationship blossoming at one party. Baby steps. My aim, was for him to tell me I looked pretty. Anything else was going to be a bonus. I would have a conversation with him, which I had done many a time before, but this time it would be a real conversation. I suddenly felt happy and unbelievably proud of myself. Maybe it would all turn out alright. I hoped so, oh how I hoped so. "Have you picked? I like the red one best."
"That's what I was thinking!" She said excitedly. We paid, then made our way to McDonalds.
But I knew that when I finally came to see Erik, my head would be screaming inside.
Look at me! See me! Want me!
Love me. Please.